I Hate Loving Her
by TwistedSystem
Summary: Vilkas won't lie; he loathes the newest Harbinger. He has since she walked into Jorrvaskr asking Kodlak to join, and now she's the leader of the Companions. He'd wished that she'd be crushed to dust by a giant before, but that would be too easy. With her disappearing act, stubborn reactions, and unwillingness to do ANYTHING the easy way, he SHOULD hate her, right? (Rated T for now)
1. Chapter 1

**Hi Everyone!**

**Decided I'd give this a shot. An Elder Scrolls Fanfiction!**

**Crazy, right?**

**Well, I hope you all enjoy, even though this story is more to my enjoyment than yours.**

**Well, R&R!**

* * *

To say he disliked her was an understatement.

Oh no, he didn't just _not like_ her. He _loathed_ her very existence. He wouldn't mind if she somehow found herself lost in a cave of snow bears. But that would be too simple. She would come out of that cave looking fresh as flowers.

_She just won't go off and die!_

Vilkas brooded over the idea of her magically disappearing, but sighed as he realized no matter what he wished, she was here, and she wasn't giving up. If he liked-

_No, if I had to choose something I hated least about her._

It was that she had determination. He just wished she'd go use it somewhere else. His beast stirred lightly as the doors to the training grounds opened and revealed her. He growled and looked away when she looked over at him, amber eyes catching him staring.

He could hear her sigh, obviously still annoyed by him. Not that he planned to change anytime soon. He peered over at her.

Her long, wavy brown hair was slightly unkempt, sweat soaking the underside of her hair. Her long eyelashes batted softly as she took quick count of who was here and what they were doing. She had high cheekbones that were the faintest pink. Her nose was mostly straight, tilting up at the end ever so slightly. Her lips were pulled thin from the frown she wore.

Vilkas rolled his eyes and grumbled, looking at the mead on the table. He snatched it up and popped the cork, chugging a little down. He glanced at her again.

He frowned and chugged some more. _She's still unbearable._

He knew it wasn't his brightest idea to get completely drunk so looking at her wouldn't make his gut wrench. But he wasn't really in the mood to deal with her when he could barely stand listening to her talk.

It wasn't that she was anything ugly. Maybe if she wasn't herself, he'd find her very attractive. But that's it. She is _herself, _and he can't stand her. He couldn't stand the fact that she knew more about him than what he knew of her.

He knew she has the beast blood. He'd known it since she stepped in the first day, asking to join. Kodlak and everyone else knew too. Where she'd gotten it from before joining the Circle was beyond him.

Besides her name, he knew nothing of her past, her opinions, the inner workings of her mind. She was an absolute _mystery._

And he hated how she seemed to know everything about everyone. Her curiosity could almost be unnerving how she'd ask a question, and memorize your answer.

Really, you could ask her about anything and she'd know the answer. But you could never ask her about herself. She'd never answer anything personal.

And it pissed him off.

The beast snarled a little inside of him. He slammed his empty mead bottle down and grabbed another one. He took a huge swig of it.

_I, along with the rest of the Companions, deserve to know, do we not?!_

Vilkas shook his head and took another gulp of mead. It burned a little as it went down, giving him a warm feeling deep down.

He sighed and looked at the bottle. He closed his eyes and and sighed. He wondered often what Kodlak saw in this woman. Why he'd been so quick to trust her. Vilkas had often considered asking permission to look at Kodlak's journal. But he was sure that damnable woman wouldn't give him rights to look at it.

"Vilkas."

Her voice caused his gut to tighten up, his spine tingling. He clenched his jaw and muttered as politely as possible while not looking at her "Yes, _Harbinger?_"

She grinded her teeth a little, taking a deep breath. His beast was wide awake with her presence. He could hear her frowning as she said "I have some rather urgent issues that I must attend to. I want you to keep everyone in check while I'm gone."

He blinked a little. _Urgent issues? _His natural curiosity wanted him to ask what had come up, or why she was leaving. She rarely left Jorrvaskr unless she went on a job. He frowned, tossed the questions into the back of his mind, and nodded. He said very quietly "Yes Harbinger."

She sighed. "Please stop calling me that..."

He turned and finally looked at her. She looked exhausted, her eyes showing how hard she's been working. His mind was oddly not very comforted by her lack of energy. But he brushed it aside.

She suddenly slipped him an overly fake smile, lying through her teeth "I'd better be off."

His eyebrow raised. He wanted to ask if she was crazy, as it was the middle of the night, and she was obviously to exhausted to be dealing with anything.

But then he slapped some sense into himself and decided he didn't care what she did. "Be off then."

She nodded and turned, striding towards the door and leaving.

_Maybe she'll disappear and leave us alone..._

He frowned as she disappeared through the door, gone like that. He sighed deeply and stood up, walking downstairs to his room. He slowly shed his armor, setting it down and falling into bed. He stared at the ceiling for the longest time.

_Looks like another sleepless night for me..._

* * *

Vilkas woke up and dressed, walking into the hallway. He looked at the closed doors of the Harbinger's room. He walked to the quietly, opening it a little. She wasn't here. Her scent had already started to disappear from the room.

He shut the door and turned, a frown on his face. He walked upstairs and sat down in a chair at the table. The mead hall was loud, the Companions talking with one another. But none had smiled or laughed. It was almost as though they didn't laugh because they mourned their Harbinger, who may or may not be alive.

Vilkas blinked. _Could she have died out there somewhere?..._

He hadn't even considered the thought. As much as he hated her and hated to admit it, he really never considered that she may have been killed. His gut twisted slightly, and he felt sick. His beast was oddly silent, not raging, or happy.

He continued to wonder if she was dead. If she was, he thought he'd be happy, but he felt very sick at the thought that someone brought the Harbinger down.

He shook his head. _That damned woman couldn't have died. She's too stubborn..._

He convinced himself she was still making her way back, and that anytime she'd be walking through the doors. But somewhere deep inside, something was terribly wrong.

* * *

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and the Harbinger hadn't returned. Vilkas wondered if she had given up on being Harbinger, and was hiding from her job. He scowled and decided that he'd try to get a letter to her.

He took a quill and ink to her room, sitting down at her desk with parchment. He frowned as he wrote out his letter.

_Harbinger,_

_It has been three and a half months since you've left. As Harbinger, you are to be watching over the Companions, not me. If you're hiding from your duty as Harbinger, I will find you and carry you back to Jorrvaskr on my shoulder if I have to. If your 'urgent issues' are going to take longer than this to be resolved, you need to send word to us how long it is you might think it will take._

_And you better hope it's not the first thing I mentioned, or I will hunt you down, Kaera. Make your way to Jorrvaskr within the next week, or I'm coming._

_Vilkas_

Vilkas grabbed the letter and found a courier, handing it to him. "Make sure this gets to the Harbinger of the Companions. I don't care if it takes weeks to find her."

The man nodded and quickly scurried off, leaving Vilkas to stand and wait for word of her.

* * *

"Vilkas, a courier is here, asking for you!" Farkas's loud voice boomed from behind the closed doors of Vilkas's room. He stood up quickly and opened the door, following Farkas upstairs. The courier stood their awkwardly, waiting for Vilkas to make his way over.

He handed him a letter and said "Vilkas, I'm guessing?"

He nodded and grabbed the letter quickly. The courier continued timidly "The Harbinger... She's nowhere to be found."

Vilkas stopped and looked at the letter. It was the one he gave to the courier a week and a half ago. He suddenly felt very cold. He nodded slowly and said "Fine. Here's the pay for your trouble." He handed him a coin purse. The man accepted it and muttered a quiet thanks and left.

Vilkas turned to Farkas and said "Stay and keep watch over the Companions. I have to find our _Harbinger..._"

Farkas nodded and said quietly as Vilkas walked away "I thought you hated her."

Vilkas looked at the floorboards quietly.

"I do."

Farkas asked in confusion "Why are you going after her then?"

Vilkas replied while turning to look at Farkas "Because it's my duty to find our ice-brained Harbinger. She's the Harbinger, and as much as I hate her, I still need to know if she's still alive or not." He turned and started walking towards the door.

Farkas nodded, not saying anything else.

Vilkas sighed and walked out the door, determined to find his idiotic Harbinger and bring her back.

* * *

**That's chapter 1! **

**Yay! I think I did okay, right? **

**Anyways, reviews are greatly appreciated, I love reading them, and please no flaming. **

**See you next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Another chapter, so celebrate!**

**Woohoo!**

**Review. Please? I could use them for inspiration!**

**Sorry for the short chapters, I'm just keeping them this short to make the story have more chapters.**

**I've kinda got most of the story planned out. Vilkas is going to be spending a lot of time chasing Kaera through the main quest, then a little through other big questlines *cough cough war cough* and finally just a few of my favorite quests.**

**Anyways, here we are!**

* * *

Vilkas sighed as he made his way outside of Whiterun. He mentally scolded himself for not asking where she was going. Now he's standing in the middle of the field, trying to guess where she went.

_Dammit, dammit, dammit!_

His inner beast snarled in rage as Vilkas tramped his way along, looking for some sort of sign of her presence. He sighed and tried to calm himself down.

_Think, Vilkas... Think. Where would she go... _

He looked around, sighing. He honestly had no idea what sort of person she was, so he had no idea where she was headed. He decided he'd try Riverwood, since it was close by. He ask if anyone had seen her.

He walked through the small village, heading to the tavern first. He walked inside and looked around. He walked over to the man standing at the counter. The innkeeper asked him "Need a drink?"

Vilkas shook his head, replying "No, but I need to know if you've seen the Harbinger of the Companions."

He blinked, shrugging. "Describe her."

Vilkas sighed, saying "Long brown hair, golden brown eyes, lithe, long eyelashes. Wearing some armor like mine?"

He grinned and nodded, saying "Oh, Kaera?"

Vilkas felt a small twinge of hope. "Yes, that's her."

The man said "I saw her a couple months ago. She and Delphine went off to some temple place near Markarth... Karthspire, I think..."

Vilkas nodded and said "Thank you." He turned on his heel and strode out of the inn, heading out for Markarth.

* * *

He'd been walking for two and a half painstakingly long days now, and his feet ached from all the standing around, trying to find Karthspire. He knew finding his Harbinger was going to be hard, but not _this_ hard!

Vilkas wondered how she trudged around in this kind of armor. He sighed. He was exhausted, but he had to make his way to Karthspire. He asked some miners he passed not long ago if they knew where it was.

They did and they pointed him to the west. So now here he was, wandering around looking for some temple in the middle of nowhere...

"Hey! You!"

He blinked and looked over to see an old man and a short blonde. "Yes?" He asked. The old man asked angrily "What are you doing here?!"

Vilkas frowned and replied calmly "I'm looking for Karthspire... A temple."

The old man's eyes widened and the blonde asked cautiously "Why?"

Vilkas sighed and said "I heard that I might find Kaera with someone named Delphine."

She pursed her lips. "Who are you?"

"Vilkas, of the Companions. I'm looking for our Harbinger." He said with slight rage, still angry she went and disappeared randomly.

The blonde's eyes widened. "Oh, she's told me about you. A master in two-handed. You should be very proud that the Dragonborn speaks so highly of you. I'm Delphine, and that's Esbern."

Vilkas froze. "Dragonborn? _She's _the Dragonborn?"

Delphine nodded, asking in surprise "She never told you?"

Vilkas frowned, clenching his jaw. "She hadn't even mentioned it." He muttered in anger. He suddenly thought of something.

"She talks about me to you?" Vilkas asked quietly.

Esbern nodded, and Delphine said "Well, she talks about all of you a little, but she speaks the most about you. She says you're even better with a sword than she is."

Vilkas felt his pride surge a little, and he shrugged. "Well, I've got a few more years experience than her."

Delphine nodded slowly and asked "Why are you here, exactly?"

Vilkas answered "To find Kaera."

Esbern laughed and replied "She's far from here."

Vilkas frowned. "Where is she?!"

"From the last letter she sent, she's somewhere near Winterhold, finding the Elder Scroll."

Vilkas blinked in surprise. _The Elder Scroll?_

Delphine said "If you want to find her, you should probably head up to the College. She's the Arch-Mage. Someone probably knows where she is."

Vilkas again found himself in complete shock. _Arch-Mage?!_

He stayed calm and said "Thank you for the advice. I must be off to find her."

They nodded and walked past him, heading towards a mountain. He sighed and walked in the direction of Winterhold.

_Arch-Mage...Dragonborn...Elder Scroll... I really don't know anything about her, do I?_

He sighed deeply, troubled by his thoughts. Kodlak couldn't have known all these things, could he?

_What other things could she be? Part of the suddenly very known Dark Brotherhood, whose presence had be hidden for a good two hundred years? Possibly part of the Thieves Guild, who is now thriving from Riften?_

He frowned, shaking the thoughts. Even if she is part of some bad crowds, she's still the Harbinger, and she's honorable.

He's just surprised he'd never caught onto her and all the things she's affiliated with. How had he not known it was her when word got to Whiterun that a woman suddenly took the role of Arch-Mage, and took down a Thalmor agent trying to gain control?

How did he not noticed how people in Whiterun worshipped her, and she was the newest Thane due to her saving of the men at the watchtower?

How did he not know all of this?

He brooded over the thought of how many people's lives she'd saved from dragons, how many cities had made her their Thane...

He suddenly wondered if many men had asked her for her hand in marriage. Or if she had someone she loved somewhere far away.

His gut wrenched, and felt as though he'd throw up. He dismissed the thoughts quickly, ignoring the strange feeling that burned in his chest.

He looked up at the sky, seeing dark start to fall. He sighed and continued on, finding refuge in a small cave. He lied down on the cave floor, sighed deeply as he tried to go to sleep, ignoring the churning in his stomach.

* * *

It'd taken a good eight or nine days of walking to make his way to Winterhold. The sad, empty town was hard to see in snow flurries. Many dilapidated houses lined the street, blankets of snow on the wooden floors where people once lived.

He frowned lightly and made his way to the College. An Altmer stood shielding the entrance. She asked him harshly as he approached "Who are you and what brings you to the College?"

He replied "I'm Vilkas of the Companions. I'm looking for Kaera."

She gasped with overly dramatic flair. "_You're _Vilkas? Oh my, our Arch-Mage speaks with the utmost respect when talking of you! Please excuse my raucous tone of voice earlier. I am Faralda. What is it you need to know?"

Vilkas smiled politely, slightly annoyed by this woman and her dramatic tone of everything. "All I need to know is where Kaera is. Have you seen her lately?"

Faralda shook her head. "About a month ago, when she returned from getting the Elder Scroll. She promised our librarian, Urag gro-Shub, that she'd bring him the Elder Scroll for safe-keeping once she used it at the Throat of the World."

Vilkas's eyebrows raised in surprise. "At the Throat of the World?"

"Yeah, she's gonna read it up there so she can learn the Shout to help her defeat Alduin!"

His head hurt terribly as he processed all the information, trying to answer questions that he couldn't answer.

He paused and asked "Wait, can't she go blind from reading the Elder Scroll?"

Faralda nodded, replying "Well, since it was a month ago we saw her, if its true she'll go blind from reading it, she probably already is."

Vilkas growled and nodded, saying quickly "I have to be on my way." He turned and angrily walked off, ignoring the mer as he made his way back towards Whiterun.

_This woman is going to drive me absolutely insane. First she's off getting the Elder Scroll, now she's reading it with the possibility of going absolutely blind... Gods damn this infuriating woman! Ysgramor give me the power not to slice her into tiny pieces when I catch her..._

He growled as his inner beast raged within him, seeking release. He frowned and pushed the beast away, not willing to give into the blood. If he gave in now, while he's so angry, he'd easily hurt someone.

And if he were to come along Kaera... He might just kill her.

He frowned and the beast slowly drew back. He sighed with drained energy. He hadn't felt so aweary in his life. He remembered the Harbinger's face when she asked him to take charge. She'd looked so fatigued and stressed.

_If she has to deal with this while she's out on jobs, I can understand why..._

He trudged along, making his way back towards Whiterun.

* * *

**That's chapter 2!**

**Wow, these are really short chapters for my style of writing. **

**Oh well. Taking it bit by bit. **

**As you can already tell, Vilkas is pretty much dealing with the Dragonborn who's so busy with everything that she doesn't stop moving. **

**Poor Poor Vilkas... This is probably going to take him quite a few more chapters before he actually even gets any closer to her.**

**She's not hiding, she's just off doing what she does best. :D**

**Please review, it's always a nice pleasure to get a review.**

**See ya next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, I'm back with chapter 3!**

**Sorry for the later updates, but my internet's been really awkwardly screwing up.**

**So sorry. T.T**

**And I've still got short chapters. Again, sorry. I'm bad, bad, bad. :P**

**Guess we should start this, huh?**

**R&R, always appreciated!**

* * *

Getting to the mountain hadn't been so hard. No, it was getting _up_ the mountain that had been such an _adventure._ Vilkas growled in frustration as he wiped his greatsword on the fur of the frost troll, who had jumped off a cliff to attack him.

_Ysgramor, I could use a drink._

He sighed and sheathed his sword, continuing his trek up the steps. The pain in his feet had become only a small nuisance now, and he was used to the ache in his back from sleeping on the ground.

He could hear Kaera's voice in his mind, making fun of his pain. He knew exactly what she'd say too. She'd laugh and say something about him just being too stiff and he needs to get with the times. She'd probably call him old.

He rolled his eyes and pushed the thoughts out of his head, looking over the land. He could see over all the plains, Whiterun in easy sight. He wondered if Jorrvaskr was okay with Farkas in charge.

He didn't want to think about coming home to a wreck with Farkas grinning nervously while the whole place was in utter chaos. He chuckled a little and looked up to High Hrothgar, the home of the Greybeards.

Vilkas smiled in relief, tiredness washing over him. "Finally." He muttered while making his way up the steps to the doors. He knocked and stood waiting. He looked over his shoulder at the snow falling.

_Thank the Eight for Nord resistance to cold..._

The creak of the doors opening brought his attention to a man standing in front of the door.

He was old, much much older than most. He had a long, silver beard and many wrinkles surrounding wise eyes. His robes were a faded, old blue, with a large hood.

His eyes spoke many years of experience, and Vilkas was tempted to ask him about anything and everything he knew, to squeeze as much information from him. He swallowed and said "I'm Vilkas. I'm looking for Kaera."

The man looked at him for a long time quietly. Vilkas pursed his lips.

A voice in the background said quietly "Who's here?" Another older man walked into view, looking at him up and down.

"Oh, you're a Companion. Are you looking for the Dovahkiin?"

Vilkas blinked and nodded. The silent one walked off, and they ushered him in. He followed quietly, wondering why it was so quiet.

The man said "Excuse my manners. I'm Arngeir. What was your name again, Companion?"

"Vilkas."

Arngeir nodded and smiled. "Well, I'm guessing you're here for your Harbinger?"

Vilkas blinked and asked "How did you-"

Arngeir just smiled wistfully and answered "I know we may seem very disconnected, but we know what happens below the mountain."

Vilkas closed his mouth and cleared his throat. "Well, is she here?" He asked quietly.

Arngeir shook his head, saying "No, she hasn't been here in a few weeks. She's probably in Sovngarde."

_"Sovngarde?!"_ Vilkas practically screamed the question. His mind was running faster than ever before. _She can't be dead, that's impossible, and if she is... She'd be in the Hunting Grounds..._

Arngeir scolded "No need to scream, boy. She is one of three options. One, she's already back from her fight with Alduin and somewhere in Skyrim. The second possibility is she's still waging her war with the World-Eater. And lastly...She may have failed, and the World-Eater will continue with his destiny to swallow our world."

Vilkas found it hard to swallow. _She... No, it's too impossible for her to just go off and get killed by a dragon.. But still, a war with the first son of Akatosh..._

"If she's returned, where would she be?"

Arngeir paused and thought it over. "Well, she'd probably be at the top of the mountain with our leader. That, or she's made her way off the mountain and already headed to whatever duties she has."

Vilkas nodded and said "So she's probably up on the top of the mountain?"

Arngeir frowned and asked "You don't plan to go up there, do you?"

Vilkas scowled a little. "Why wouldn't I go?"

The Greybeard shook his head and said "We can't allow you up there. If you'd like to find her though, we can go up there and ask where she was headed."

"And why can't I just go?"

Arngeir shook his head and said "You do not have rights to go up there to meet our leader, Parthanaax."

Vilkas frowned and sighed. He rolled his eyes inwardly and nodded. "Thank you, then. I'll wait here."

Arngeir nodded and smiled, walking off.

* * *

Vilkas sat boredly in High Hrothgar, looking at the carvings on the walls. The place was obviously very old, and he couldn't help but wonder about it's long history. He noticed the other Greybeards watching him silently. He noticed they didn't speak a word. Only Arngeir. He'd have to ask Kaera why sometime.

He heard the large doors open quietly as Arngeir returned to High Hrothgar. He walked over slowly with relaxed shoulders."Well?" Vilkas asked impatiently.

The old man said quietly "I talked with my leader."

Vilkas nodded, slightly tried of patience. "And?" He tried to ask politely.

"The Dovahkiin was headed for Windhelm." Arngeir stated calmly.

Vilkas felt like banging his head on the wall. If he hadn't came all the way here to talk to the Greybeards, he might have beat her to Windhelm and caught her!

_So close, yet so far!_

He inwardly berated himself while he smiled as kindly as he could and replied through clenched teeth "Thanks, I must be on my way." Vilkas turned away from the old man and started for the doors, inwardly cursing his luck.

The Greybeard smiled wisely and said "Good luck with your _hunt_, Companion."

Vilkas paused in step. He turned and looked over his shoulder at the old man, who was still smiling. Vilkas found himself wondering how much the Greybeards knew, and how much more they know than they let on. He frowned a little and nodded, saying "Thank you." He turned and walked out, not looking back as Arngeir smiled wistfully at him.

* * *

Once Vilkas reached the bottom of the mountain, he took a small break to decide on his plan of action.

He decided he'd stop into Riverwood and stay in the inn. Get some food, sleep, and head for Windhelm.

_Maybe I'll use the beast blood to help me travel..._

He shook the thought, deciding it wouldn't be safe, and he wouldn't let the beast into him. He made his way quietly into Riverwood, watching as a little boy and his dog ran in front of him, laughing and smiling. It reminded him of his childhood. After Jergen rescued them, they grew up terrorizing all the other Companions. He couldn't help but smile fondly of his childhood memories.

_Poor Tilma had to raise us up right._

He chuckled a little, thinking of everyone back then. His smile faded, remembering the day Jergen left for the Great War. He pushed the thought into a small place in the back of his mind, locking it away.

He sighed and pushed the door open to the inn as he entered quietly, walking to the innkeeper. He paid the ten gold to the man and sat down, ordering some cooked venison and ale. He ate it quietly, sipping his mead lightly. The warm food relaxed his tense muscles. The food wasn't great, but it was at least edible.

He turned in the bar stool and looked around the quiet inn. There was a bard, who was flirting with a woman. There was also a blonde woman with a blonde man, who were enjoying mead. He noticed the woman with the bard looking at him from across the inn. She smiled and blushed, looking away from the man she was talking to.

He watched her walk over, smiling brightly. She leaned against the bar, looking at him through half-lidded eyes. She asked in a soft voice "What brings someone like you to Riverwood?" Her voice was soft and sweet. Like a woman should sound. He'd guessed she was Imperial, due to her height and voice.

Kaera's voice was strong and demanded one's attention. It was the voice of a warrior, like Aela's, but still feminine somehow.

He pushed the thoughts away and smirked, saying to the woman "I'm on business."

She smiled in a seductive manner and asked "What kind of business?"

He grinned and said "A lot of dirty work."

She blushed and smiled, sitting down next to him. He looked at her, studying her. She was much shorter than him, obviously an Imperial, like he'd guessed. Her black hair was up, her eyes surrounded with eyeshadow. She had a very short, straight nose.

She had a short torso, with nice enough breasts. Her hips were less curved compared to her bust, not like a Nord woman, who usually had curvy hips that swayed differently than an Imperials. She had short, thin legs. She smiled at him, her lips a red-orange color. Her thin eyebrows were very arched and high.

An image of Kaera was suddenly in his mind. Her long muscular body, with nice, proportional curves. Her long hair curling ever so slightly, falling just to her breasts. Her dark eyelashes batted at him as her amber eyes glowed gold, no makeup but her signature silver warpaint. Her lips were a light pink, a smirk on her face as her eyebrow raised in question.

He blinked, and the image was gone as quickly as it came. He looked at the woman, who was frowning lightly.

"Are you okay?" She asked in concern, still a seductive edge to her voice. But it suddenly wasn't as enticing. It suddenly made his stomach lurch forward, and he felt as though he'd been posioned. The woman watched him warily, wondering why he looked ill so sudden. He frowned and shook his head, standing up quickly and backing away, saying "I'm sorry. I'm tired. I must get some sleep."

She frowned very deeply as he turned quickly and retreated to his room, shutting the door loudly. He shed his armor, shaking his head of the thoughts of what happened quickly and fell into bed, staring at the wooden beams of the ceiling.

It didn't make sense. That woman should have been an easy bed. She was attractive enough, and she obviously was looking for someone to bed her. He wasn't afraid of bedding an Imperial either. He'd slept with many others before.

Yet Kaera kept sneaking into his thoughts, and he kept comparing her to the Imperial. And she made the other woman suddenly repulsive. He didn't like Kaera, so why would he compare the woman to her?

It's not like he thought Kaera was anything pretty.

He'd met many women prettier than Kaera, so wouldn't it make more sense for him to compare the inn woman to one of them?

_Gods, what's happening to me?_

He pushed all the thoughts of Kaera into the deep recesses of his mind. He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to sleep, thought he was sure no sleep was going to reach him tonight.

* * *

**And that's chapter 3 everybody!**

**Yeah, Kaera was cockblocking in his mind. Haha!**

**The powers the Dragonborn are truly frightening, huh?**

**Anyways, we'll probably see Kaera next chapter, unless for some reason I sidetrack Vilkas on something else. Probably going to make him do a bunch of random side quests on his way to Windhelm.**

**Anyways, reviews are great, they help tell me everything I'm doing wrong so I can try to fix it. XD**

**Aye, I need them to know where I can improve.**

**Well, I hope to see you next chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello!**

**Sorry I'm updating slowly, but school's almost out. Three more days for me.**

**So I'm just waiting for summer before I start updating like crazy.**

**Anyways, reviews are always a pleasure.**

**Enjoy! :D**

* * *

Getting his way to Windhelm had taken a good week and a half. When he finally got there, he wasn't expecting to see a legion of Imperial soldiers, who were cleaning the town of Stormcloak bodies while making sure the citizens were okay.

Vilkas frowned. He looked around, but did not see Kaera. He growled at how his Harbinger was always one step ahead. He pushed his way past soldiers, making his way through the town. He grew more annoyed the farther through town he got.

He found that the town was empty of his Harbinger.

He sighed and decided that if he could find General Tullius, he might find Kaera. He made his way to the inner recesses of the town, finding General Tullius standing around giving orders. He walked over, stopping and waiting to gain his attention.

Tullius looked at Vilkas, frowning. "Can I help you?" He asked with slight irritation. Vilkas frowned and nodded, answering "I'm Vilkas of the Companions. I heard Kaera might be here. Can you tell me where she was headed if she's left?"

Tullius frowned. "Yeah, she said she was going to head for Riften after this. But she only left a week ago. You might catch up to her with a horse."

Vilkas nodded and thanked the General, turning on his heel and striding quickly out of the town. He sighed lightly and pushed forward on the roads to Riften, stopping by the stable. He walked over to the carriage driver and asked "How much for a trip to Riften?"

He smiled and replied "20 gold."

Vilkas nodded and reached into his coin purse, pulling out twenty septims and dropping them into his hand. He counted them silently while saying "Climb in back and we'll be off."

Vilkas walked around to the back of the carriage, hopping in with a frown.

The man made a clicking noise and the carriage pulled forward, rocking lightly as the horse started pulling it and Vilkas forward. He sighed tiredly. He couldn't believe all the traveling he's had to do just to find his ice-brain Harbinger and drag her back to Jorrvaskr.

He chuckled and looked out, staring at the frozen land. It was quite pretty, the snow cloaking the land with white. He saw plenty of animals hop through the snow with no trouble. Foxes pounced through the snow as rabbits scurried away.

He turned back to the road. His weary eyes fluttered lightly, and he leaned back, deciding that he could use a nice, long sleep. The rolling of the carriage rocked him back and forth much like a crib.

He sighed softly, and slipped away to a light sleep.

* * *

His heart was pounding in his head like an alarm, and his feet couldn't move fast enough. He wasn't running away, he was trying to get somewhere. His chest heaved as he tried to pull more air in, but he felt like he was choking.

He could smell the danger on the wind, but it was the least of his concern. No, his concern was somewhere far, far away. He stopped and knew that he had no choice. He released the beast with a long howl, fur covering his body as his bones twisted and elongated, his eyes shifting from icy blue to bright gold.

He pushed forward faster, his legs moving faster than any other animals possibly could. He had to get there, he had to get there before disaster struck.

His paws hit the ground hard as he moved with the speed of gods. He was almost there, he might stop the chaos in time!

He pushed forward into the clearing, and he found his heart sunk.

_No, no... It's not.._

He howled with millions of emotions shooting through him like electricity. Pain, mourning, sadness, anger, spite, and most of all, vengeance shot through him.

_I'm going to make them pay_.

* * *

"Mister, wake up!"

Vilkas gasped in, his heart racing. He took quick breaths as he looked around, trying to sense his surroundings. A man was shaking him, frowning. He sighed in relief and said "We're here, sir."

Vilkas blinked slowly, looking to see the Riften gates. He stood up and nodded, thanking the man while getting out, walking through the gates.

He shook his head and looked at the ground. His dream didn't make sense. When he dreamed, they were always of him being chased and hunted. This one was different. The big confusing thing was that even though it was him in the dream, he was watching from outside his body. He didn't see what had caused his heart to almost stop completely.

_It just-_

Someone bumped into him, jumping lightly. He turned and looked down at the cloaked figure. They'd dropped something. He reached down and picked it up, finding it to be a dagger.

He frowned. It was an ebony dagger with words he couldn't understand carved into it. He recognized this dagger. His eyes shot up to ask where they'd gotten this dagger, but they were gone.

_Kaera._

Sighing deeply, he looked back down at the dagger, trying to figure out why she tried to avoid him. _Is she running from her duties as Harbinger?_

Some part of him hoped not. He looked around, not seeing her anywhere.

"Hey, she ran this way!" Someone shouted. He looked up to see a bunch of thugs running his way. He frowned as they trudged up to him, asking "You seen a cloaked figure run by?"

Vilkas scowled and opened his mouth to say something, but the sound of an arrow cutting through the air caught his attention. He watched as the arrow sunk into the man's skull, and the other two didn't even have time to react as a second and third arrow stuck them down too.

Vilkas turned and looked in the direction of the shooter, watching as an arrow shot over his shoulder into the wooden beams of a building. He looked at it and spun back around, watching the cloaked figure scale a building and run behind view.

He looked back at the arrow. _Did she just warn me to leave? _He noticed a note tied to the arrow. He walked over and pulled it from the shaft, looking at it.

_You need to go home, Vilkas. I have work to do. I left you in charge. I'll be back sometime._

_-K_

He growled and sighed, looking back towards where he last saw her. He shook his head and started walking in that direction.

_Dammit Kaera, I don't have the patience to deal with you! 'Sometime' is not good!_

He peeked around the corner, hoping to see her, but she was out of sight. He sighed and turned away, heading back into town. He walked along quietly, heading over to the Bee and Barb.

He got a room and headed upstairs, shedding the armor and falling down onto the bed. He sighed in exhaustion before drifting asleep.

* * *

**And that's chapter 4!**

**So yes, he did run into Kaera. Literally. xD**

**She's not interested in heading home just yet though.**

**Don't worry, he's still got to do some more chasing.**

**Where she's headed, only she knows.**

**But the dream...What do you think happens?**

**It's probably pretty easy to guess.**

**Well, please review your thoughts, or even PM me your thoughts too.**

**Sorry for another really short chapter. But I can't help it.**

**See ya next time!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey here's the next chapter!**

**Woot Woot!**

**Hopefully it's gonna get much more interesting in later chapters.**

**Don't forget to PM me if you have any questions.**

**So here you go! :D**

* * *

Vilkas woke tiredly and strapped his armor back on, sighing with relief when he found that no one stole anything in the middle of the night. He stretched and walked out of the room, heading downstairs. He sat down at the bar with a frown.

"Can I get you something, sir?" The Argonian at the counter asked. He sighed and answered "Black Briar Mead." She smiled and nodded, setting it on the counter. He dropped a couple of coins next to it, which she grabbed up quickly.

He uncorked it with a frown, taking a swig. It was sweet like honey, yet burned the back of his throat. He sighed and looked around with exhaustion. He didn't look at anyone in particular, he just glanced around. His mind was somewhere far away.

_"Go home, Vilkas."_

He sighed and chugged down a large gulp of mead. He couldn't just go home after chasing her across Skyrim. No way in hell was he just going to go home empty-handed, having to explain why the Harbinger wasn't with him.

No, his damned Harbinger was coming home with him, whether she liked it or not. He frowned with determination and finished his mead, standing up and leaving the Bee and Barb.

Stepping outside, he took a deep breath of air. Funny how he hadn't spent much time with her, yet the slightest trace of her scent caught his attention. Vilkas turned and took a sniff of the air. He noted a redhead grinning and scamming someone into some potion.

_He smells of her._

Something in Vilkas burned deep in his chest, and he felt very angry all the sudden. He frowned and strode over to the Nord, who looked up at him. He smiled in a charming way and said with a thick accent "Can I interest you in Falmer's Blood-"

"No." He interrupted the man. Vilkas glared at the man, who frowned.

The man nodded and said "What can I help you with?"

Vilkas frowned deeply. "You could point me in the direction of Kaera." He said, demanding an answer.

The scam artist scowled and asked "And who exactly do you think you are?"

He scowled back while answering "I think I'm a Companion, and I'm looking for our Harbinger. Where is she." Vilkas wasn't asking where she was; he was ordering the man to tell him.

"And what gives you the idea I know who you're talking about?" The redhead asked smugly.

Vilkas's eyes flashed gold lightly as he answered "You wouldn't have scowled at her name if you didn't know who she was."

The Nord stared at him darkly. "You shouldn't trifle in matters that don't concern you, Companion."

Vilkas growled out through his teeth "I think this does concern me, _thief._" He whispered the last word with spite.

"Move on, you damnable Nord. I won't tell you anything." The man said with a glare.

Vilkas snarled, his beast pulling at his patience. He glared darkly, saying "If you don't tell me where she is _right now,_ I swear to Ysgramor that I will not leave enough of you left to bury."

"Kaera's heading for Falkreath."

Vilkas blinked and turned around. He noticed a dark elf with strangely bright purple eyes. She smiled and looked at the man behind Vilkas. She wore a tight, hooded cloak like the one he'd seen Kaera wearing yesterday night.

The man growled and said "Why would you tell him, Karliah?!"

She laughed lightly and replied "Just because she's our Guildmaster doesn't mean she doesn't have other things she has to deal with, Bryn. Besides, if he's taken enough trouble to hunt for her here, she's obviously got things to do."

The man she called Bryn replied angrily "But-"

She frowned and answered "Nothing, Bryn. Give it a rest. You know she has other people who care about her." She stared at him with her mesmerizing violet eyes. They spoke a language that Vilkas couldn't even hope to read, and he noticed the man behind him look down, cursing under his breath as he sighed deeply. Whatever this Karliah insinuated, it burned the Nord named Bryn on an emotional level.

Vilkas nodded and looked to the Dunmer. "You have my thanks." She nodded and smiled. He turned and strode away from the two, ignoring the sense of hate rolling off the redhead. He walked out the town, making his way down the road.

_What's that man's relation to Kaera?_

He frowned deeply, pushing the thought back. It wasn't like it really mattered to him, did it? His stomach lurched again, and he stopped, leaning over. Gagging lightly, he took deep breaths. He recovered slowly and stood straight up again, taking deep breaths.

_Gods, what's happening?_

He shook his head lightly, deciding that he was just ill, nothing more than he ate something bad. He sighed deeply and continued on, pushing all thoughts of the thick-accented thief and Kaera away. He looked along the trees. Animals ran and hid from his presence, slipping through the woods and bushes.

He could smell all of them, every single one. He studied the autumn leaves, the bright colors vibrant and glowing. The wind rustled the dead, fallen ones from the ground. They flew upward, slipping high into the trees near the lively ones. But they continued on, leaving those alive still in the trees.

_Those who live, continue living as those who die slip away, to the gods._

He closed his eyes and listened to the song of the living, whispers from the woods. He opened his eyes, pushing forward with the leaves that flew above him. He stared forward at the road, and for a moment, it was just him and the road. No one else had ever existed, he had no worries, no responsibilities, nothing but himself. And he had no destination, nor somewhere to return to. He only had the road to follow.

And everything returned, and he was no longer just himself. He was Vilkas, and he had to find the Harbinger, and return to his home. The corner of his lips twisted up a little, and he chuckled.

_It was nice to be alone for once._

* * *

He reached Falkreath a few days later. He walked into town quietly, looking around. Everything was quiet, and he found the place more depressing than peaceful. It felt as though someone was always mourning here. He remembered that this place was known for it's graveyard. He wondered if those who mourned all those who had died were still mourning, even after death.

_Maybe some of them still mourn the deaths of their loved ones._

A long, mournful howl sounded, sending chills down Vilkas's spine as his own beast prepared for battle. He turned and saw a large black wolf scale a house and leap over the wall, running into the woods.

_What-_

He blinked and watched a door burst open from the guard barracks. Kaera stood there, panting heavily. Her eyes were flashing from amber to gold quickly, and he could see she was going to transform if she didn't control the beast.

Her eyes locked onto his, and he saw her gaze soften before those amber eyes flashed bright gold.

She turned and sprinted from the town, and a few minutes later, her cry sounded. His beast naturally wanted to call to a pack member, but he suppressed it. He frowned and shook his head. He waited for a few minutes, standing there. Her eyes were fresh in his mind, staring at him.

_Why?_

He jogged after her scent, knowing he had to make sure she was okay. _I don't even like her. _He frowned, trying to remember why exactly he went around doing things for her and chasing her across the land when he didn't care what happened to her. He had convinced himself it was because she was the Harbinger.

_She's my Harbinger, and as stupid as she may be, she needs someone to keep her in check. And I guess that leaves me to deal with her... I bet you think this is funny, don't you Ysgramor?_

* * *

**And that's chapter 5!**

**Yes, I bet you can tell what quest Kaera is on.**

**Hehe, one of my personal favorites. After this one, my second favorite quest is going to happen, and Vilkas is actually going on the quest with her.**

**Not actually by choice.**

**Nope, Daedric Lords are assholes, but I love the quest lines. XD**

**Review please, it's a great motivation!**

**I hope I'll be seeing you next time then?**

**Oh, and PM with questions too!**

**(6_6)/ **

**Bye!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone, I'm back with chapter...6? Yeah, that's it.**

**Haha, sometimes I forget what I'm doing exactly.**

**So how you feeling so far. I can't wait for the next quest line. You'll enjoy it. :D**

**Anyways, I'd like to thank those who have reviewed, and my readers. **

**This is growing so much faster than I expected, and I have thank you for it.**

**:D**

**Reviews are always good. So don't forget to review, okay?**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

He wished he'd chased after her immediately instead of standing still for a few seconds. She took off as fast as she could when she got out of town. Vilkas took in another breath, her scent leading him deeper and deeper into the woods of Falkreath.

He couldn't help but imensely enjoy it. The secrets that hid behind the trees and scents of wild creatures. He surveyed the area, watching deer dart through the trees, foxes slip away from him. He took another wiff of the scent, and the sweet scent of lilacs and wolf caught his attention.

_Kaera._

He followed it quickly, not letting himself be distracted by the beast inside him that was itching to hunt the animals that scurried away. He continued tracking her scent, moving faster and faster as it grew stronger.

He stopped and took a few sniffs. He looked ahead and spotted a giant dead stag. He frowned and walked over to it slowly. Looking at it, he easily identified the marks around the neck as werewolf bites.

He examined the stag a little longer, curious of it. It was extremely rare to see such large deer, much less a white one. He blinked and looked away, her scent drifting to him again. He sighed and followed it again, walking quickly. Something about that stag seemed strangely familiar, but he couldn't place it.

He looked out at the horizon. The sun was lowering into the sky, the bright colors of it shooting across the sky. He blinked and smiled to himself. He missed when he was young, and his brother and him played along the plains by themselves, laughing from sunrise to sunset. He closed his eyes, feeling the fleeting warmth of the sun as it dipped lower into the sky.

He opened his eyes and turned, walking back along. He frowned lightly as he got farther from the woods, as his beast longed to reside in the dense forest where none would hunt for him.

The calls of the animals kept his beast struggling to release. He frowned and closed his eyes, trying to fight the beast away. It got harder and harder to control as he got closer to Kaera. It was snarling and trying it's hardest to escape.

He pushed it back and found himself at the entrance of a cave. He frowned as the scent of many people hit his nose. He hurried in, hoping that it wasn't people hunting Kaera. He slipped in, the room glowing an eerie red. He slipped quietly into the cave, frowning.

_There's another wolf in here._

His beast growled inwardly as Vilkas cautiously entered the cave. The moon shined red light down, and Vilkas blinked. _A bloodmoon?_ He stared at it, hypnotized. It was very rare to see a bloodmoon, and it was the first Vilkas had seen in his lifetime.

_A white stag, a bloodmoon..._

Vilkas frowned. He tried figuring out where this all pieced together. A snarl snapped his attention back to his surroundings. He looked over to see the other wolf looking at him with eyes bright gold. Before Vilkas could draw his sword, the wolf sprinted towards him. Vilkas leaped away and before he could think about it, he was transforming. He had finished transforming just as the other wolf snarled at him, baring its canines at him.

His beast roared to the male wolf in front of him. He launched himself at the wolf, clawing at the wolf. The other wolf snarled in anger as the claws scratched his arm a little as he jumped away. He jumped at Vilkas, snapping at him. Vilkas barely dodged him, leaping away and growling. The other wolf roared at him.

Vilkas snarled and they circled each other, sizing the other up. Before Vilkas could react, the wolf jumped towards him and bit down on his shoulder. Vilkas snarled and threw the wolf off him, leaping towards him. Vilkas's jaws were about to close down on the other male's neck for the kill when he collided with the hard ground. He blinked in surprise and leaped up, wondering what knocked him from midair so fast.

Vilkas blinked in surprise when he saw Kaera pinning the other wolf down. She growled at him lightly before turning to Vilkas and nipping his ear lightly. Vilkas yelped and growled at her. She snarled back at him.

He continued growling, but adverted his gaze to the ground to show respect to his Harbinger. She turned and trotted away into a bush. She returned in human form, in her armor. She glared at him and asked with irritation "Didn't I tell you to go home?!"

Vilkas growled at her, forcing himself back to his human form. He stepped up next to her, grimacing. "Being Harbinger is not a part-time job. you can't just run off for months without letting us know where you are, or if you're even alive!"

He noticed the blush creeping up on her cheeks as she continued to glare at him, not removing her eyes from his. She growled "I have a lot of things to do, Vilkas!"

Vilkas snarled and replied "Oh, and chasing a male wolf to his cave is part of your _'Urgent issues'_?!"

She scowled and said loudly "Shut up, will you! Put some damned clothes on and go home, you filthy mutt!"

His anger burned deeply, and he said angrily "So you can get back to tramping around with men?! _Gladly, Harbinger!_" He spit the words at her before grabbing up his armor and striding away, looking at the ground in frustration. Something burned deep inside, and he could feel her eyes staring at him. He looked over his shoulder, her amber eyes raging, but he saw something in them that said he'd hurt her.

_Good, she deserves it!_

He growled and left her in the cave, not looking back.

* * *

He strapped the armor on once he leaved the cave. He scowled and walked towards Whiterun.

_I hate her! She thinks she can just go around doing pointless things when she has a family she's supposed to lead and overlook back in Whiterun?! She's so gods damn stupid!_

He snarled and felt like punching someone. But there was nothing to take his anger out on. He scowled and walked along the road. His shoulder ached and burned. He sighed angrily and stopped on the side of the road not far from the cave, removing his armor to examine his shoulder. It was bloody, but healing okay. He sighed and dug into his pouch, finding a healing potion and chugging it down quickly.

He sighed and looked back towards the cave. He blinked and looked down, and he found it hard to swallow. He closed his eyes tightly as his chest tightened. He growled and threw the empty vial at a rock, shattering it.

"Gods damn her!" He shouted at the stars. They didn't answer. Not that he expected them to. He stood up and slipped the breastplate back on, strapping his armor back up. He turned and headed for Whiterun, trying to get far away from that damned cave, with its damned wolf, and his damned Harbinger.

He frowned and his eyes burned lightly. He closed them tightly, stopping in the middle of the road silently. He clenched his jaw in anger while opening his ice eyes.

_I hate her so much._

* * *

**Yup, that's chapter 6!**

**Woo hoo, celebrate!**

**Well, now there is a bigger rift between Kaera and Vilkas. **

**It's because they're both stubborn and suck at realizing how they feel.**

**Silly silly wolves. XD**

**Ooh, I can't wait to write about the next quest. This quest is gonna take a few chapters to write.**

**Yes, Vilkas and Kaera are going to enjoy their traveling together **_**so much.**_

**Hehe, I'm mean.**

**Don't forget to review or PM me!**

**See you next chapter!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Alright, I'm back. Well, here's chapter 7 everyone.**

**School is finally out for me!**

**It's a short chapter. Sorry, I've been dealing with a lot of family problems.**

**A slight tweak, as I'm going to start the next adventure in a couple more chapters. I feel the need to explain how they feel the best I can, even though I'm terrible with touchy-feely stuff. I'm doing this due to the fact I've gotten a few recent complaints. That, and my story is predictable, which I will try to fix best I can, but I'm terribly bad at writing for other people's enjoyment. I write for my enjoyment, and I let people read and hope they enjoy it too. **

**Am I going to change my writing for anyone else? Hell no. I'm satisfied with it, and if you can't enjoy it, don't read it.**

**This is mostly relationship development. From Vilkas's side. As for Kaera, I'll probably write a chapter explaining her feelings too. It'll probably be in her point of view too.**

**So, here you are.**

**Don't forget to leave a review.**

**Enjoy! :D**

* * *

Vilkas was done. He'd had enough of his stupid Harbinger, the idiotic chasing, the mind-numbing annoying traveling. He wasn't going to waste time dealing with his Harbinger when the Companions needed him to run them.

_Why in the Eight would you choose someone so unreliable to be the Harbinger, Kodlak?! _

He sighed in frustration, running his hands through his hair. The woman ran off without word for months, and Kodlak expected her to be a good Harbinger?! She was the largest reason VIlkas found himself seething in rage.

First, she was reckless. She hadn't taken a shield-sibling with her since they went to retrieve the pieces of Wuuthrad. And he had practically forced her to go with him. She ran around Skyrim slaying dragons, stealing money, practicing magic, and probably assassinating people, though he wasn't sure if she was part of the Dark Brotherhood or not.

The next thing Vilkas found so irritating was her stubborn attitude. It went her way or no way at all. And it pissed him off to no end.

And the worst thing was that Farkas thought she was the nicest, closest friend he had. Vilkas couldn't believe his brother saying she was amazing, and he needed to give her more credit.

_I'll give credit to her when she proves she can be the Harbinger of the Companions..._

He frowned deeply and entered Whiterun. The moon lighted the path to the market. He walked over there angrily, stomping his feet all the way back to Jorrvaskr. He swung the door open and . He frowned deeper and continued striding heavily towards the stairs when a voice caught his attention.

"Nice to see you home."

He stopped and turned around to Aela, who was sitting by herself on the bench, staring at the fire with her silver eyes. The flames danced across them, and she seemed to be looking at nothing in particular.

Vilkas nodded. He turned away and started walking again when she continued "Where's Kaera?"

The name made his mouth dry. He scowled and replied without looking "I couldn't find her."

"You can't lie to me. You smell like her."

Vilkas looked down at the floor and said stiffly "She refused to return. She doesn't want to be here."

Aela's voice replied "I don't believe you."

Vilkas spun and snapped at her "It's true! She isn't mature nor strong enough to be our Harbinger!"

Aela closed her eyes and sat still for a moment. Her eyes flicked open. "Liar. Something happened, and you're hurt."

Vilkas laughed, but his throat tightened. "Nothing happened, and she can't hurt me."

Aela sighed and stared into his icy blue irises, serious all over her face. "She didn't hurt you physically. She said something and it burned you to the core."

"She _didn't _hurt me." Vilkas said louder.

Aela stared at him for the longest time, and she blinked and looked down. "It's your fault that you're hurt too, isn't it? You said something that hurt both of you."

"You don't know what you're talking about Aela, so just stay out of it!" Vilkas growled. Aela looked up at him and glared.

She snapped angrily "I _do _know what I'm talking about! I loved someone very much at one time too! And I lost them! So don't go hurting those you care about when you don't know if you'll ever see them again! Vilkas, you're so stubborn you refuse to see how much you really _do _care!"

She stood up quickly and marched her way towards him, glaring at him. It took a moment for him to register the pain of her hand colliding with his cheek. She shoved past him and slammed the door to the living quarters.

He stood still, staring into space. He sighed, all his fight gone. He didn't feel anything for a long didn't think for even longer. He just stood there, letting the conversation replay in his head over and over.

_"Vilkas, you're so stubborn you refuse to see how much you really do care!"_

He blinked and looked down at the stone floor. He sighed again and turned, looking around the mead hall. He could hear the laughter and talking he'd missed. But right now, staring at the empty mead hall, he felt very unwelcome. Much like a stranger in an unfamiliar place. His home no longer felt like his home.

He sighed and sat down on the small steps, staring at the fire.

_"Vilkas, you're so stubborn you refuse to see how much you really do care!"_

Care? He looked at his gauntleted hand, flexing his fingers. Could he actually care about that ice-brain woman? No, he couldn't. He hates her.

_Why?_

He blinked. The question surprised him. He frowned, and thought back to his reasons to hate her. But they weren't really good reasons to hate her. She'd never did anything bad to the Companions.

_Besides running off with letting anyone know if she was alive..._

So was it really true that he hated her? He frowned. Running a hand through his hair, he looked up at the ceiling. No, he didn't hate her.

_But gods be damned I care about her._

He nodded to himself and sighed, closing his eyes. He didn't hate her, but he didn't care what happened to her. He had better things to do than waste his time worrying about their Harbinger. Besides, reckless as she was, she managed fine on her own, or she wouldn't have made it around Skyrim like she does.

He sighed and stood up, walking downstairs to his room. He pulled his armor off and practically fell into his bed. He stared at the ceiling for a long time. It seemed as though he was moving, but sitting still.

_"You refuse to see how much you really do care!"_

He closed his eyes, praying he would get some sleep tonight.

* * *

**Alright, there you go. Relationship development, small as it is, happened.**

**I hope it made someone happy.**

**Anyways, during writing this I've decided I'm going to switch to Kaera for a couple of chapters, so you can get to know her better than her being a bitch. Haha. **

**Learn her background, stuff from her past.**

**And her feelings towards Vilkas, which are a little strange to explain.**

**Leave a review or PM me with anything, just don't be flaming.**

**I don't mind when you tell me what you think, just no hate reviews.**

**See you next chapter!**

**:D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight! **

**Are you excited to meet Kaera from her POV?**

**I hope you enjoy the inner workings of her mind, and everything she has to deal with.**

**Don't worry, after a few chapters we switch back to Vilkas in the third person.**

**We'll have a little bit of background history on her too in these couple of chapters.**

**Remember to review. It's always important to review. ;) **

**I'd like to thank all of you for reviewing too, and for so many views already. It's crazy. It makes me feel that I'm doing something right.**

**Here you go!**

* * *

"My Listener?" His velvety voice asked softly.

I moaned and rubbed my temples, barking at Lucien "Shut up."

He frowned, but didn't say anything else while I stomped my way towards the old Falkreath Sanctuary. He followed quietly, his steps non-existent.

_What do you expect Kae, he's a ghost. Did you expect him to sound like a herd of mammoths?!_

I scowled at the voice in my head, mentally telling it to take a hike. I sighed angrily and shoved open the door to the Sanctuary, which no longer needed to be opened by the passphrase.

* * *

I slammed the door shut after Lucien, the loud noise echoing off the empty and silent hideout. I stood still for a few seconds, staring at the staircase. I sighed and walked down it slowly, the scent of all the others burnt bodies wafted to my nose, even though we'd long cleaned the place of them.

I felt my eyes sting lightly. I closed them tightly and clenched my fist. Opening them, I looked around the place I'd once called a home.

_No longer is this a home for me... Never will it be home again._

I turned and walked into the room on my left, stepping over to the slightly burned wardrobe. I opened it quietly, looking into it. I sighed and picked up a few gold coin pieces, stuffing them into my bag. Turning around, I found Lucien leaning against the door frame, watching me with calculating eyes.

"What troubles you, Listener?"

I frowned and shrugged, replying quickly "Nothing bugs me. I'm fine." I brushed past him and walked out to what used to be the main room. I sat down near the water's edge, looking down at myself.

My gaze focused on my armor. The wolf carvings always caught my attention. An image of Vilkas came to mind while staring at them. He was sitting alone, brooding over a book he had in his hands. I grimaced as his eyes lifted in my mind to stare at me. The icy blue sent electricity shooting down my spine. I blinked and quickly started pulling off the armor, throwing it behind me.

I frowned and leaped into the cool water. Goosebumps rose on my skin from the sudden exposure to the water. I sighed in relief, throwing some of the water at my face, washing it. I inhaled deeply and plunged down to the bottom of the water. My fingertips brushed the bottom of the pool gently, and I winced when my finger caught on something sharp.

I reached carefully for it, picking it up and kicking to the surface. I gulped in air and swam towards the edge, raising myself up onto it. I looked at my finger, which was bleeding from a tiny cut on it.

I frowned and watched it close quickly and heal due to my beast blood's ability to heal me faster than a normal person. I looked at the object in my hand, studying it. It was a good sized shard of glass from the stained glass skull above the pond, which had broken when the Night Mother and I fell through it.

I could see my reflection in it as I tilted it back and forth. I looked down at my collarbone, where a long, deep claw mark reached diagonally down from my left shoulder to my right breast. I closed my eyes and tossed the glass back into the pond.

My heart felt heavy in my chest as memories slowly slipped into my mind, making it hard to swallow.

* * *

_I smiled affectionately at the sound of my house door opening and closing. "Mhm, what's for dinner?" A voice called from the front door. A warmth filled my chest as I answered "Venison and potatoes!"_

_I counted the steps of his boots as he walked towards the kitchen. One, two, three, and..._

_Warm arms wrapped around my waist as he leaned down and rested his chin on my shoulder. He sighed in content and pecked my cheek lovingly._

_I turned and looked into his steely eyes, which stared down at me with more love than he could ever express. I leaned up on my tiptoes, planting a soft kiss on his lips. He kissed back, holding me close to him. I ran my hands through his blonde hair before pulling away._

_He smiled down and said "I love you."_

* * *

I covered my eyes with my hands, and let the tears flow silently. I tried to push the memories away, but I couldn't. It wasn't uncommon for me to end up crying from them, but I always liked being alone so no one would see me cry.

The memory slipped away, fading until it was dark in my mind. I hoped for a minute it wouldn't show the next one that always followed that memory, but I found it , and the scene seeping into my mind. I watch the background fade in, and I drifted away into the next memory.

* * *

_I frowned as I watched him enter the house, covered in blood and dirt. I asked in slight annoyance "Where were you?!" He turned and looked at me, his normally calm grey eyes a storm of anger. I winced at the stare he gave me. I backed away, stumbling backwards._

_He stalked closer to me, his eyes watching me like a wolf watched a frightened deer. He growled a deep and gutteral sound._

_I screamed in fear as he leaped forward, no longer seeing the beautiful grey eyes of the man I loved, but the darkest gold eyes of a predator._

_I was going to die._

* * *

I sobbed into my hands, no longer trying to push the memories away. I sobbed for what felt like hours, but had probably been a few mere minutes. I couldn't bring myself to move a muscle for the longest time, and yet I wanted to be anywhere far away from here.

I rubbed my eyes and stood up, heading over to the bedroll I'd left here last time I was in Falkreath. I slipped into it silently, closing my eyes as tight as I could, trying to gain some sleep. I knew it wouldn't come; it never did when I thought back to my previous life, in a far away place, like a nightmare that never ended.

_Never again will any place be home for me._

* * *

**Alrighty, that's chapter eight for everyone!**

**So, this kind of gives you an idea as to how she came to have the beast blood.**

**I'll be explaining more of her background in later chapters, but for now we've got a chapter or two more with her before going back to VIlkas.**

**Please leave a review with your thoughts, and I'll be seeing you in chapter nine hopefully!**

**Until next time!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I think I've wasted enough time with this. Ha, sorry about such a long update wait.**

**I've been dealing with a series of unfortunate events currently, and writer's block gets to me if I don't update repeatedly.**

**So anyways, finally got around to this. Another Kaera POV chapter. Just cause I can. :P**

**Haha, hope you enjoy!**

**Don't forget to review, favorite, and follow!**

* * *

I sighed deeply, pushing myself off the hard floor. I felt dead, and guessed I probably looked it too. Stretching my arms above my head, I yawned. I blinked the sleep from my eyes, rubbing them tiredly. Lucien stood not far away, watching me with unconcern.

Part of me wanted to ask if he got a kick out of watching girls sleep, but thought better of it. "Morning, my dear Listener."

I waved my hand and answered "Yeah, whatever." He smirked, and part of me found myself put at an unease by it. I brushed it away, knowing he was no harm to me. I stood up and twisted in awkward angles, trying to work the kinks in my muscles out.

I rifled through my stuff, pulling out my Nightingale armor. I slowly slipped it on, clasping the buckles with fluid movement, not needing to look down to see where they were. I pulled my mask on, flipping my hood up.

I peered over at the specter, who was watching me silently. "Need something?" I asked curiously.

The corner of his lip seemed to hook up into a lopsided smile. "You remind me much of a Listener I'd met long ago. So very long ago..." Even though it was quite hard to tell, he seemed to look wistfully at the floor.

"I see." I replied curtly. I didn't continue to talk about it. It seemed like it would only bring sadness. I sighed quietly, turning away from him. My memories replayed in my head repeatedly. I closed my eyes.

_I snatched the discarded sword from the floor. The tears were running down my face, but the fear was no longer there. I stared into the golden wolf eyes. It growled deeply. I snarled back at it, lifting the steel sword. It leaped at me._

_I sliced quickly, cutting deep into the face. It fell to the floor. I stood over it, the rage inside me taking over. I plunged the sword through its chest. It let out a howl of pain. I pulled the sword out, watching as the monster started to slip away, its bright gold eyes dulling every second. Blood shot out of the wound, splattering all over me. I licked my dry lips, the copper tang of blood on my tongue._

_The beast died, and I stood over it for the longest time. I sighed, letting a small sob escape my lips before I turned away, sheathing the sword and leaving the house without another thought._

I blinked slowly, opening my eyes. Frowning, I strode out of Falkreath Sanctuary, not turning back. _Seems like I'm always moving on._

I sighed at the voice in my head. It always said what I didn't want it to, even though I could hear the thoughts long before it voiced them to me.

I followed the path to the road, looking around. I didn't want to stay in Falkreath, but I didn't want to return to Whiterun either. I scowled under my mask, and I could hear it now. Vilkas preaching me.

_Asshole..._ I growled, my chest heavy. I didn't give one damn shit about him, but he always seemed to strike me deep with his cutting words. I sighed and shook my head. _No reason to think about him. He can go fuck a troll._

I stifled a laugh, the thought of that. _No, that's offensive to poor trolls everywhere. _I smiled to myself, letting my mind cheer me up with jokes about Vilkas. _And while he's at it, he can go kiss a vampire's ass._

I giggled to myself, unable to contain it. I peeked over my shoulder to see Lucien watching me with a disturbed face. I giggled even more. He just shook his head, raising a hand to his mouth and chuckling.

I grinned even though he couldn't see it and we continued on the path. _You know what, fuck Vilkas. I'll stay at the Bannered Mare._

I nodded to myself, and we departed for Whiterun.

* * *

"Listener?" Lucien's mellifluous voice called to me. I turned and looked at him, smiling brightly. He sighed, saying "This isn't wise."

I rolled my eyes, chugging down some more ale. He frowned. I replied with slight slur "Don't be a killjoy! I'm jusst enjoyin' some drinks!*Hic*"

I ignored whatever he said next, turning back around in my bar stool. Hulda looked at me with disappointment. She sighed and said quietly "Maybe your ghost is right. Why don't you head home for Jorrvaskr. I can send someone to retrieve Vilkas-"

My voice boomed with anger as I shouted, slamming my drink down on the table "Vilkas be damned! And I'm _not _heading back to Jorrvaskr!"

She winced slightly, and I frowned angrily. I sighed and said quietly "I'm sorry Hulda..."

She sighed and gave a pointed stare at Olfina, who nodded and left quickly. I shrugged, not thinking much of it in my drunken stupor.

Hulda looked at me sadly, obviously pitying my current state. I looked away. _Damn her pity. I don't need any gods-damned pity._ I frowned and took another swig of my drink. Someone slid into the bar stool next to me.

"Hey, you." I looked over at him blankly, blinking rapidly to clear my vision. "How about you and me have a drinking contest over a staff."

I frowned slightly, my mind too drunk to process what exactly I was doing. "You're on!" I replied.

He smiled, or at least I thought he did. My brain wasn't exactly very aware of anything. He said to me "I've got some _really _good stuff. Flows like water." I nodded and he chugged it down quickly.

He looked and me, handing me a bottle. "Your turn." I grinned awkwardly, chugging it down fast. "One bottle. Easy."

He grinned, drinking another. "And you?" I shrugged and downed another bottle. My mind was buzzing, my stomach warm. "Two." He nodded and shook his head, saying "If you can chug this down, I'll give you the staff." He handed me another when the door to the Bannered Mare opened loudly, loud footsteps sounding.

_One.._

_Each footstep made my heart warmer._

_Two..._

I blinked, my mind whisked away to my memories. I shook it and looked over to see the carvings of wolf armor. I frowned, my awareness returning a little, but not enough for me to sober.

"_What, in Ysagramor's name, are you doing._" The low timbre of his voice was filled with anger, but still very pleasing to the ear. The drunk part of me enjoyed the sound of it immensely. More than I should. The sober part slapped some sense into me though.

I blinked and looked up to his bright icy eyes, which glowed with anger. I stared at him for a few seconds before responding "You know what? You, my friend," I paused to think it over, but not enough "can go and shove your speech up your own ass. I don't care." I looked away, taking the cork off.

He blinked, and snarled deeply, his eyes slightly gold now. Yet his voice didn't match his glare. "Kaera."

His softened tone surprised me. I knew he was still mad, but he his voice was soothing, and part of me wanted to just agree with him. The stubborn streak wouldn't let me do that though.

I blinked a few times, looking at him again. He replied softly, although his annoyance was still evident "I think it's time we get you home."

_Home. Home is not here. I'm not home._

I snarled in anger, snapping at him "Oh, and you know where home is for me?! I don't have a home!" He stared at me in surprise, not sure how to respond. He opened his mouth to respond, but I turned away from him in anger and looked at the man I'd never caught the name of. I grinned to him and chugged my drink down. "Alright, gimme the staff."

He smiled and nodded, but continued talking. I blinked repeatedly. I felt very odd. Tired. My brain was buzzing and the room was extremely warm. I struggled to keep my eyes open. I could hear Vilkas's voice talking, but I wasn't listening. "Hey, what'd you do?!" Vilkas's voice cut through suddenly.

"Don't worry, you can come too."

I slipped to the floor tiredly, and soon felt another presence on the floor next to me. Before I could respond to it, I drifted to sleep, too exhausted to stay awake.

* * *

**Haha, chapter 9!**

**Yay!**

**I bet you all know what we're doing now. hehe, poor drunk Kaera.**

**Poor Vilkas. Kaera doesn't listen worth a damn. Haha.**

**Daedric Princes are assholes. But I love their quests.**

**So, leave a review with your thoughts, and I'll see you next time!**

**Bye!**

I


	10. Chapter 10

**Ah, so happy to be updating again. Thank god I'm finding the free time now. :D**

**I'm trying to make up for not updating chapter nine so early.**

**And for the fact that my little sister deleted it from here. Yeah, I apologize.**

**She didn't mean to, she was just messing around on my computer and I stay signed in on , so... Yeah.**

**I've decided I'm going to mostly stay in Kaera POV through the story when they are together, and when they aren't, I'm going to switch back and forth between them. I don't like being in Vilkas's POV, but I'll do third person POV for him.**

**Anyways, R&R, enjoy!**

* * *

Waking up in Markarth was not what I expected. Waking up in the temple of Dibella was even more shocking. Waking up naked was way worse. And having a throbbing headache didn't help at all. But the most mortifying part, the absolutely worst part...

I woke up naked in the temple of Dibella in Markarth...With an equally naked sleeping Vilkas. I wasn't exactly thrilled to wake up next to a Vilkas in his small-clothes. And finding myself wearing a wedding ring wasn't very comforting. Now, in most situations, I'm used to other people overreacting while I remain calm and collected.

But I see my role was reversed.

"Shit, Vilkas! Get up! Wake up, bastard!" I shook his shoulder, panicking. He grunted and rolled over, replying "What, whelp!" He sat up and glared at me, blinking. I raised an eyebrow at the 'whelp', but didn't say anything. "Gods, my head..." He moaned while looking around. His sleepy eyes looked in confusion at the dwemer architecture. "Wha..."

He looked at me, and his eyes trailed up and down my body lazily. It took a few seconds before he froze up, his mind registering that I was in nothing but my underwear. I swore I saw his face tint a shade of pink.

He looked down at himself, and back up to me in absolute, utter horror. It was exactly how I felt. Terror.

"Where the hell are we?!" He shouted at me, and I winced. "Ugh, quiet... My head aches..." He snarled and asked loudly "And why are we naked?!"

I yelled back "I don't know okay!"

He flinched and rubbed his temple. I sighed and sat down next to him. I stole a glance at him. His long, lean torso was muscular and rippled lightly while he took deep breaths. His black hair was messy, standing up in some places. His face was stoic, but his ice blue eyes screamed panic.

My wolf senses could hear his heart pounding in his chest much like mine. His eyes darted over to me, and I looked away. He immediately swung his head in the opposite direction.

"Do... Do you remember if... If we..." I stuttered out, my tongue not working properly and my face a deep crimson.

"No." He replied quickly, seeming as anxious as me.

"Oh, so you two drunks are awake now?!" A woman's voice practically screeched at us.

We both lifted our hands to our ears, muttering curses. Being drunk made every sound hurt, but being a drunk _werewolf?!_

"Not so loud..." I whispered. I removed my hands from my ears, asking "What happened?" I looked up at the scowling priestess. She growled back "After you two barged in here shouting about a goat, you defiled the temple and passed out."

I nodded, trying to make sense of it. "Did a man come with us, and where was he headed?" Vilkas asked. She scowled deeper and said "Oh no, you two need to clean up this mess you made before I tell you anything!"

I sighed. Frowning, I noticed Vilkas's hand offering to help me up. I took it and pulled myself up, looking around. She walked off to do her duty, leaving Vilkas and I standing there awkwardly.

There was a long pause of silence before Vilkas cleared his throat and said "Let's pick all this stuff up..."

I nodded in agreement quickly, walking away from him to pick up things we'd thrown around. I noticed Vilkas's sword and my bow. I picked them up, calling softly "Vilkas, I found your sword."

I could hear his bare feet crossing over the ground quickly. He stopped beside me, and I found that he was extremely warm. I side-stepped slightly. I handed the sword awkwardly, and he nodded and turned away.

The silence grew more and more uncomfortable. Neither of us were willing to break it. I picked up a giant's toe, and noticed behind a pillar was my hood. I slowly walked over to it, my head still pounding. I picked it up and brushed it off.

I looked over and noticed a trail of our armor. I stared at it for a few seconds too long before picking it up. "Vilkas." I said quietly, knowing he'd yell if I made his head hurt worse "I found our armor."

I looked up to see him turn towards me, his blue-silver eyes catching my gaze. He his eyes darted to the armor beside me, and I watched his legs stride over quickly. He picked up his armor and nodded, walking away.

I picked up my armor and immediately strapped it on, turning to Vilkas. He was just finishing strapping his weapon sheath into place. I picked up my Nightingale sword and sheathed it, swinging my bow around to my back to put it in place. I grabbed my quiver of ebony arrows and looked at Vilkas.

He looked up at me with icy eyes, and his eyes scanned over my armor from my boots to my face. I blushed and focused my eyes on the priestess, flipping my hood up and placing my mask.

"Alright, we cleaned the temple. Now tell us what we wanted to know." I said in my business voice.

She nodded and answered "There wasn't a man with you, but you kept yelling about a goat and a staff. You mentioned Rorikstead."

I glanced out of the corner of my eye at Vilkas, who looked at me. I nodded, and he said "Well, we must be off." He led the way out of the Temple, with me following behind. I tried to keep the distance between us. I knew he was probably just as angry as I am about that night in the Bloated Man's Grotto.

"Harbinger." I looked up at him, and he was still not facing me.

I sighed and made my way to his side. "What?" I asked cautiously. He still didn't even look at me as he said "What did you mean when you said that you didn't have a home?"

I stayed silent for a long time. I swallowed and answered "Exactly what I said."

Vilkas stopped, causing me to stop and turn to look at him. "Jorrvaskr is your home."

I frowned under my mask, looking down at the stones. I replied curtly "It doesn't matter. You wouldn't understand." I turned and walked away, and could easily hear his thundering footsteps behind me.

He asked with irritation lacing his tone "What do you mean, 'You wouldn't understand'?"

I scowled and replied back with anger "You wouldn't!"

He frowned and replied "What makes you think that?!"

I snarled while stopping and turning to him "You don't know a thing about me, and you wouldn't be able to understand!"

He grimaced and yelled "Maybe I don't know anything about you because you won't tell any_one_ any_thing_!"

I opened my mouth to yell, but closed it. I didn't really have much of an argument for that. I spun on my heel and said back to him "Maybe I don't want anyone to know."

He strode quickly up to me and was by my side again. He didn't say anything else to me, which I thanked the gods for that. I didn't want to continue to dwell on it. We finally made our way out of Markarth and on the road, which I was happy for also.

_Sooner this is done, the sooner I don't have to deal with Vilkas._

I looked down at the wedding ring on my finger. My stomach churned, and I stole a quick look at Vilkas's hand. He wasn't wearing one, which I sighed in relief. _So I didn't marry him while I was drunk... But who did I marry then?_

Vilkas looked at me and asked, catching me off guard "Why don't you ever take a shield-sibling with you?"

I blinked in surprise, saying "I don't want them to slow me down or get in the way."

He frowned. I frowned too. "What makes you think that we'll always get in the way? What happens when you get seriously hurt, and are surrounded?"

I shrug. "I summon Lucien, use my more powerful healing spells, and use my Thu'um."

His eyebrow raised in question. "Who's Lucien?"

I smiled and stopped, raising my hand to tell him to still also. He stood beside me while I channeled my inner energy, focusing on one area when a blue portal opened up, and Lucien stepped out calmly.

"My Listener." He smiled and replied, bowing lightly. I looked at Vilkas, saying "That's Lucien."

Vilkas stared at the specter in curiosity and wonder. I was quite surprised, considering when we first met he wouldn't let me use an enchanted sword to fight him.

"How long does he stay in this world?" Vilkas asked.

Lucien replied "Until I'm slain by one of her enemies."

Vilkas blinked and watched the assassin in surprise. I smiled to myself before saying "Let's continue." Vilkas nodded and we walked along, Lucien following silently behind. It wasn't actually that uncomfortable of a silence.

I looked around at the beautiful scenery, and found myself at ease. I peeked over at Vilkas, and smiled, even though he couldn't see it.

_Maybe having a shield-sibling around isn't so bad._

* * *

**Yup, that's this chapter. Hope you enjoyed!**

**Vilkas and Kaera are sorta getting along now. But it never lasts very long. They'll argue still.**

**Probably in the next chapter. XD**

**Leave a review, and don't forget to favorite and follow!**

**See you next time!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi, I'm back! Sorry it took so long, I've been busy as of late, and my computer has been having internet connection issues.**

**So here we are! Oh, and as for who Kaera married, you'll see soon. :D**

**So, let's continue on!**

* * *

I sighed and looked down at the wedding ring, slipping it off and turning it over in my palm. It was a simple gold ring of matrimony. Usually they were silver, but I could still recognize one easily. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, brushing away the pain that started to blossom in my chest.

"Harbinger." I blinked and looked over to Vilkas, closing my palm quickly. He looked at it curiously. "What's in your hand?"

I looked down at my hand and shrugged. "Nothing."

He frowned now. He replied "What's 'Nothing'?"

I dropped the ring into my pocket and answered "Just a simple ring." He stared at me, and even through the hood, his eyes pierced into me, and I had to advert my eyes.

"Really? May I see it?"

I looked up at him again, and frowned. "It's just a ring."

His lips twitched into a small frown as he replied "If it's just a ring, why can't I see it?"

I sighed inwardly, knowing I was screwed no matter what I said. I reached into my pocket and dropped the ring in his outstretched hand. He looked down at it, studying it. He didn't say anything for a long time.

"...So you're married?"

I shook my head and answered angrily "I'm not! I woke up with that on my hand in the Temple."

I heard him sigh and notice him shake his head. My head shot towards him, and I glared. "What?!" I asked impatiently.

He raised his open hand to his mouth and said with a laugh "I truly feel sad for the man you ended up marrying."

I growled and snatched the ring from his hand, looking away. "I feel sad for myself. I can't remember my marriage ceremony."

I sighed and slipped the ring back on. Vilkas stared at my hand before saying "You'll still wear it though?"

I shrugged, looking down at ground. "Well, do I have any other choice?"

"But you don't even know who you married. How can you accept something like that?" He asked, and I swore I heard a little anger.

I turned and looked at him. He waited for me to answer, a frown gracing his face. I looked forward on the road. "My parents had an arranged engagement for me when I was a young girl."

I paused for a moment, before laughing. "Well, you can see how well that worked out though." I sighed lightly, looking around. I could feel an uncomfortable silence creeping over.

I looked over at Vilkas, who was staring at me with a vacant expression. He blinked and looked ahead.

"What was your childhood like then?" He asked quietly.

I laughed and answered "Sorry, I don't do back stories."

He frowned and looked at me seriously. "Why?"

I stared at him. I swallowed and adverted my eyes, saying "Why not?" My throat burned.

"...Does it hurt?"

I flinched at the question. Looking up I pointed down the road. "We're almost to Rorikstead."

"That's not what I asked."

I sighed deeply and answered with another question "Why do you need to ask so many damned questions?"

He shrugged and replied "It's hard to trust a Harbinger you don't know."

I kept my mouth shut, not responding. Vilkas's voice asked "Why is it that I, nor does anyone else, know anything about you?"

"Maybe because I'd rather nobody knows about it."

Vilkas scowled and continued on, snarling "What, did you do something bad in that life? Because I bet it can't be as bad as being in the Thieves Guild!"

I stopped and spun towards him. "Maybe I don't tell people about me because I don't want them to care about me! Because anything that ever cares about me ends up being let down in the end!"

I turned and continued walking towards Rorikstead, leaving Vilkas trailing behind.

* * *

Upon entering Rorikstead, a man approached me with a furious look on his face. "_You,_" He growled out. I blinked in surprise. "What?"

He stalked towards me angrily. He stopped in front of me, saying "You're the one who sold my Gelda to the giant!"

My eyebrows furrowed. "How did I sell your wife to a giant?!"

He snarled in rage, reaching out and grabbing my hood, shaking me while scowling "Why I outta-"

I swatted his hands away. "Look, I was drunk, and I don't remember anything! Now, explain to me how I sold Gelda to a giant!"

His face contorted as he answered angrily "You sold my prize-winning Gelda to the giant outside of town!"

I blinked. "Wait, what?" _His wife won prizes?_

He reached out to grab me again, but I felt myself be pushed back slightly. Vilkas stepped in front of me. He looked over his shoulder at me, saying sarcastically "Making friends everywhere you go, huh?"

I couldn't help but crack a smile. "People can't help but like me, if you haven't noticed."

He rolled his eyes, and turned back towards the man. "So, care to explain why you are laying your hands on The Harbinger of the Companions?"

He crossed his hands over his chest, and I looked at him. He was a good four or five inches taller than the man, and much more intimidating than me. Then again, Vilkas was probably a foot taller than me. The man took a step back, replying "She stole my goat and sold it to a giant!"

I growled and answered while peeking out a little farther from Vilkas "You never told me it was just a goat!"

He gasped and replied in shock "_Just _a goat?! That's my Gelda!"

I scowled and took another step towards the man, but Vilkas's arm tucked me back behind me. I looked up at him and glared, but he just gave me a look. My glare faded slowly and I sighed, frowning.

Vilkas returned his gaze to the man. "Was another man with us?"

"I'm not telling you anything!"

Vilkas grabbed the man's collar, replying "Look, I'm short of patience, and we need to know now!" His voice sent chills down my back, and I could almost feel bad for the raging man, who had to deal with those piercing eyes.

The man cowered and replied "Alright! There wasn't, but you mentioned a staff, marriage, and Whiterun! That's all I know!"

Vilkas nodded and dropped him. He sighed and dropped a coin purse in the man's hands. "For being so obedient."

The man nodded, and replied "This should be enough for me to get another goat..."

He turned and walked away, leaving Vilkas and I standing there. We were quiet for a while before Vilkas spoke "We're staying here for the night and in the morning we set off for Whiterun."

I answered in a cheeky tone "Who died and made you supreme ruler?" I walked around him towards the inn.

"Where are you going?" He called.

I turned and laughed. "I thought you said we were staying here?"

He grumbled something I didn't quite catch. I rolled my eyes and we walked into the inn.

* * *

As we entered, I noticed a few people staring at us. A young man with bright red hair looked at me, smiling with sparkling eyes. I smiled back politely, the boy's eyes smiling with awe.

Vilkas stepped in front of me, grabbing my elbow and pulling me along. I blinked and looked at him with an eyebrow raised. _What's his problem?_

He didn't release me until we were standing by the counter. I sighed and slipped the hood down, pulling my mask off. I shook my head lightly, running my hands through my hair. I looked over my shoulder while Vilkas spoke to the innkeeper.

The redhead was still watching us with wide eyes. He continued smiling. I lifted my hand and twirled my fingers with a smile. He blushed and waved awkwardly.

I looked back at Vilkas with a smile when I heard his deep voice answer loudly "One room." He dropped ten gold down on the counter. I blinked in surprise. His eyes flickered quickly over his shoulder before returning to the man at the bar.

I asked curiously "Just one?"

Vilkas's blue eyes were electric, his pupils barely noticable. He looked down at me, and I swore his eyes softened a little. His pupils returned to normal again. He nodded, looking away. "Yes, unless you'd rather pay twenty for two rooms."

I blushed slightly at my stupidity. It makes more sense to share a room for ten than get two for twenty. "Oh." Is all I commented.

"Let me show you to your room." The innkeeper replied. I nodded and he stepped around the counter. We turned around. The man slowly made his way towards the door to our room. He pointed and answered "That's your room. If you need anything, just ask."

I nodded and smiled. I turned to Vilkas, whose eyes were strangely sharp again. His eyes shot towards me, and he nodded at the man. I frowned lightly.

"Are you okay?"

He blinked and asked "Why are you concerned?"

I looked down at the stonework, replying quietly "Well, you're acting a little weird, and I can't say it comforts me."

He nodded and replied "I'm fine."

I nodded and looked back up at him. His gaze was sweeping the room, and he seemed tense, and his eyes intimidating. I looked around the room. It seemed fine to me. The redheaded boy looked up at me again, smiling softly. His eyes shot towards Vilkas, and he looked down quickly.

I looked quickly up at Vilkas, whose eyes were focused on the boy. I frowned and slapped his arm lightly, making a clang of metal. He looked at me in surprise. I said disapprovingly "Can't you do something more productive than scaring townspeople?"

He blinked a few times, and opened his mouth to speak, but shut it. I rolled my eyes and said with a small grin "What, are you afraid they'll revolt and refuse to farm food for people?"

He frowned and rolled his eyes, huffing lightly. I just grinned and shook my head. I walked towards the young man. Vilkas's footsteps followed closely behind.

I stopped and stood in front of him, saying softly "Hey, I'd like to apologize for my friend's evil eye. He can't help but terrorize innocent people."

"Hey!" Vilkas said behind me. The man laughed, and said "No, it's fine. I'm Erik. Who are you two?" He asked. I opened my mouth to find Vilkas beat me to it.

"Vilkas. This is the Harbinger of the Companions."

I shot Vilkas a look. "Do you expect him to call me that?"

Vilkas sneered and answered "Oh, would you rather him call you Thane of Whiterun, Arch-Mage of the College, or perhaps Dragonborn, savior of man and mer?"

I rolled my eyes, scoffing. I looked at the man, who was absolutely awestruck. "You can call me Kaera, or is that a problem with you, Vilkas?"

He blinked and stuttered "Y-You're..So you a-a-are..."

I frowned and turned back to Vilkas. "You broke him, good job."

Vilkas shrugged. I turned back to Erik, who was blushing. "I never expected to meet the D-Dragonborn..."

I shrugged and said "Just treat me like any old adventurer."

He nodded quickly. I sighed lightly. I looked back at Vilkas. "See? Now I'm not going to be treated like any normal man!"

Vilkas chuckled and replied "That's probably because you're a woman."

I shoved him and said "Smart ass."

He laughed, and I found myself smiling a little too. I blinked and quickly hid the smile. _What am I doing?_

I turned and walked away from him, sitting down at a bench. Vilkas quickly sat next to me, looking over at Erik again. His eyes focused on the boy.

"...Do you have problems with staring or is this a man superiority complex?"

Vilkas blinked and looked at me. "What?"

I shrugged, replying "Well, since we've walked in, you've not spent more than two minutes without your eyes on poor Erik." I blinked and looked at Vilkas for a few seconds, whose eyes darted uncomfortably at Erik.

A thought crossed my mind and I giggled, unable to hold it in.

"What?" Vilkas asked while looking at me.

I shrugged and said with a laugh "I'm starting to suspect you like men..."

He blinked in shock and his face contorted into disgust. "_What."_

I laughed and said "Wow, you should have seen the look on your face!"

He rolled his eyes, but I saw a small smile on his face. My gut felt very warm suddenly. I held my hand to it, feeling it heat up quickly.

I blinked and looked at Vilkas, saying quietly "I'm turning in. You can stay up if you want."

He shrugged and said "I'm tired too."

I nodded with an eyebrow raised. I stood up and walked to the room, entering quietly. Vilkas shut the door behind us. I slowly unbuckled the straps, and growled in frustration when one got stuck.

I pulled at it angrily. It wasn't coming undone. I sighed in anger. Fingers slowly tugged at it quietly, pulling it undone. I looked at Vilkas, who was pulling his hands away. "Thanks."

He nodded and slowly started pulling his armor off. He was left in only breeches.

I slipped my armor off so I was only in a tunic and my undergarments. I climbed into the bed, sighing deeply. Vilkas fell into bed next to me. I stared at the ceiling silently. My skin was hot.

I turned away from him, saying quietly "Goodnight Vilkas."

Vilkas replied softly "Night Harbinger."

I closed my eyes, sitting quietly before saying with a chuckle "Still can't stand to say my name?"

He was oddly quiet. I'd expected at least a wise crack back. But nothing came from his mouth for a minute or so.

"Sorry. Night, Kaera."

I blinked and turned over, staring at his back. He was much more muscular than one would think. I studied it, enchanted by the scars. He had old magic burns on his lower back, but I was more curious about the long thin line across his shoulders down his back.

_A whip line?_

I raised my hand, my fingertips just hovering centimeters away from the scar, tracing it. I stared a few more seconds at it before I froze. I blinked rapidly and quickly pulled my hand to my chest, holding it. My heart was racing like crazy, my breathing heavy.

I flipped over quickly and stared down at my hand.

_What the hell am I doing?_

* * *

**Alright, here we are.**

**Again, I apologize for the long waits on the updates. At least this chapter is slightly longer than most.**

**I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to Review or PM me!**

**See you soon!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi there! I'm back again!**

**Connection issues. T.T**

**But I'm glad to be posting again, because you're all very impatient people. :P Just joking.**

**So, here we go!**

**Don't forget to review your thoughts!**

* * *

Warmth.

I'd never felt so warm in my life. My Nord blood helped keep cold away, and the beast blood could let me sleep in cold places easily. But I didn't feel warm like this. A nice, surrounding warmth that cloaked me comfortably.

It reminded me of the warmth I'd had when I had slept with-

I squeezed my eyes tightly, shoving it away quickly. I sat there silently, refusing to open my eyes.

_It's all an illusion. A dream..._

I frowned slightly, pained to know that I still missed him after seven winters. It seems like it was so long ago, yet it still hurt like it had been last week.

_Just enjoy it before it slips away like a memory._

I sighed deeply, relaxing back. I could feel his broad chest pressed warmly against my back through the tunic, easily covering me. His face was buried in my neck, my long hair pressed away. I could hear him inhale, taking a deep breath.

_So vivid, I feel as though if I turn, I'll see his warm eyes staring back._

I bit down on my lip, holding back hot tears. I blinked them away quickly. I shut my eyes again. His arm was draped over me waist, his calloused hand holding me against him.

But something was different. Wrong...

_This isn't right. No, something is different. This isn't him..._

I focused on the feeling. There was something different.

He never let his face near my neck. The closest he'd ever get to my neck was the top of my head.

_This... What...Who..._

He inhaled deeply again and sighed. I closed my eyes, feigning sleep as I heard my bed invader's heart rate pick up as he started breathing more shallow. He slipped back from me on the bed. I heard the soft sound of his bare feet touching the stone floor.

Another sigh.

I shifted to my side, pretending to still be asleep. I opened one eye, looking at his back. He was bent over, his face buried in his hands. He seemed distressed. The long straight line that stretched diagonally across his back immediately struck recognition with me.

_Vilkas._

I don't know why, but I suddenly had the feeling I was intruding on him, which was a little strange. I felt this wasn't supposed to happen. Me watching him like this, him looking so stressed, or... Whatever that just was...

I blushed and he immediately straightened up, stretching. My heart was beating a little fast. He must have heard the rushed heartbeats, because he stood up and said quickly "Wake up Harbinger, we have to return to Whiterun. While we're there, we have to check on Jorrvaskr. I fear my brother might have burned it down since I'd last been there."

I sighed deeply and cracked a small smile at Vilkas's joke. I stretched and stood up, grabbing my armor and quickly dressing, Vilkas hurrying too. I looked over at him as he finished strapping his armor on. He glanced at me silently, not saying anything.

I blinked and looked at the carvings on his armor before saying "You ready?"

"Aye."

I nodded and looked towards the door, leading the way awkwardly.

_I have a bad feeling that it's gonna be like this most of the way to Whiterun..._

* * *

My feeling of this trip wasn't wrong. We stayed awkwardly silent most of the trip back, not even looking at each other. Even as the distance between us grew as we walked on opposite sides of the street, I felt closer to him than ever.

I stared at the ground, counting each clank of his armor. It was almost unbearably noisy. I wondered how he managed to ever sneak up on anything.

_'We don't deal in underhanded sneaking. Leave that to the gutter rats who can't protect themselves.'_

I smiled a little, Kodlak's easy, warm voice flowing in a calming way. It was easy to see why people loved and respected him. He was strong, kind. I closed my eyes and mourned him for a moment before looking up to the road.

"We're almost to Whiterun." I said to Vilkas, trying to break the ice.

He just nodded, continuing to focus on the road.

I frowned inwardly. _Of course. I finally have human company and it's the most antisocial man on Nirn._

I sighed and said jokingly "I hope we just get there in time before Jorrvaskr is burned to the ground."

Vilkas's gaze flickered over at me, before quickly returning to the road, and he made a huffing sound, not a chuckle, but something to give notice that he realized I cracked a joke.

I pursed my lips in thought. "So..."

Vilkas peered at me again, an eyebrow raised. "Yes?"

I paused and completely forgot what I was saying. "Nevermind. I forgot."

He chuckled and shook his head. "You sound like Farkas."

I blinked. I laughed and said sarcastically "Oh, I thought I sounded more like a woman, but if you say so."

He gave me a look. I laughed. "You know what I meant."

I nodded, saying "Yeah, but I don't know how I sound like him."

Vilkas shrugged, replying "If I'm silent, Farkas will try to start a conversation. Doesn't usually work very well."

I shrugged. "Worked for me."

He nodded and looked out towards Whiterun. "Guess so."

I nodded and looked back down at the stone road. _Aaand the conversation's died again._

"Are you worried?"

I blinked rapidly, looking at Vilkas. He wasn't looking at me. "Huh?" I asked in utter confusion.

He glanced at me quickly before looking away. "About who you married. Aren't you worried it might be someone you hate?"

I sighed and shrugged. "Well, what can I do about it?"

Vilkas remained silent for a minute before saying "Slit their throat in their sleep."

I laughed, saying "Well, I could. But I could just turn them into a housewife and have them stay at home while I do whatever I please."

Vilkas's icy eyes hardened and stared at me. I almost flinched at the sudden look. He blinked and they immediately returned to normal. He nodded dismissively, looking away.

"Don't you think they would rather be with you, to protect you?"

I chuckled. "I don't need anyone to protect me, and when I do, I've got Lucien."

Vilkas muttered something incoherent.

"What was that?"

He looked at me, opening his mouth to reply when I distant roar interrupted him.

He blinked in confusion. I immediately looked to the skies, and back to Vilkas.

"Get down, behind that rock!"

He didn't move fast enough, and I ended up tackling him towards it, crouching.

Vilkas stared at me in complete disbelief. "What are you doing?!" He asked loudly.

I slapped my hand over his mouth, muffling his displease. I peeked out from the rock as a huge shadow slipped over us. Vilkas stopped complaining and looked out too.

A large bronze-skinned dragon flew over us, its wings long and a dark black. I removed my hand from Vilkas's mouth, raising an uncovered finger to my mouth to sign silence.

He watched it fly away. I stood up and sighed. "Why didn't you defeat it? It's bound to hurt someone." He asked, and for a moment I was sure he was going to be mad, but he just sounded curious.

I watched it fade away. I replied while looking at him "I know that he is probably going to destroy something, but... They are such beautiful creatures, and they have lives, and personalities, and wisdom... I don't like killing them. I only kill them when I have to."

He didn't respond for a few seconds before nodding. "We should continue."

I nodded, and it was silent once more.

* * *

We entered Whiterun, heading towards Jorrvaskr when Ysolda called out to us.

"Vilkas!"

Vilkas flinched and continued walking. I frowned and said "What's-"

Ysolda walked up to us, saying "It's nice to see you two together! I always had a hunch, you-"

"Huh?" I said in confusion. _What in Shor's name is she talking about?_

She nodded eagerly. "Don't play coy, I know it's you! When Vilkas came up to me talking about this absolutely beautiful woman in Witchmist Grove, and the romantic atmosphere, I knew who he was talking about! I had to help him out!"

I blinked, my mind blank. _What? _

"I'm sorry, Ysolda, but we're searching for a man named Sam. He owes a staff." Vilkas cut in.

She blinked and nodded, saying "Oh! You mentioned something about Morvunskar. And pay me back on the r-"

"Thanks, but we must be going." Vilkas said almost nervously while grabbing my arm and pulling me off. She nodded and smiled with a dreamy look on her face. Vilkas quickly pulled me away, dragging me back towards Jorrvaskr.

I followed in utter confusion. _What was that?!_

* * *

**That's chapter 12!**

**Woo, so tired. I stayed up all night and day writing this.**

**Hope you enjoyed, leave a review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi everyone, welcome back!**

**Did you miss me? :P**

**I'm so happy to see all the reviews I've been receiving!**

**Thank you all! :D**

**And don't forget to review your thoughts to me! I love getting them!**

**Here you go!**

* * *

Vilkas dragged me through the doors of Jorrvaskr, sighing as we got in there. I stared at the door for a few moments before blinking and slowly looking at my elbow he still hasn't let go of, and to his face. His eyes said he was relieved, but his tense posture said uncomfortable. I opened my mouth to ask him what in Shor's bones that was, but was interrupted.

His eyes shot towards me, and he said quickly "I thought we should hurry back to Jorrvaskr and see everyone. Its been almost a full winter since they've seen hide or hair of their Harbinger."

I frowned slightly. I knew what he was doing. He was making me feel guilty and tiptoeing around my inquiries. "Yes, but we were going there after talking to Ysolda. That was a little rude to drag me off while I'm talking. What, is she a threat to me or something?"

I could see the muscles in his jaw clench. He was thinking of a response. He opened his mouth to say something, but someone beat him to it.

"You found her?!"

We both blinked and looked over at Farkas, who was harboring a large grin. Vilkas nodded, quickly removing his hand from my elbow. Farkas's large grin grew bigger, and he laughed. "I was beginning to think we'd never see her again!"

Vilkas nodded, replying "She didn't come very willingly. And she's planning to leave again on another adventure tomorrow."

Farkas's grin faded quickly. He looked at me, his soft blue eyes slightly confused and upset. I tried to grow smaller. If anyone ever made me feel terrible about something, it was Farkas. Vilkas's eyes had the effect of either pissing me off or scaring me. More of the former though.

"You just got home. You're leaving so soon?"

I frowned, opening my mouth, but Vilkas's voice answered coldly "Aye, she is. But, I'm tagging along as her Shield-Brother so she doesn't run away again. So you'll see her again."

Farkas blinked in surprise. "_You_ are? And she's okay with that?"

Vilkas glanced over at me, as if asking if I am. I nodded slowly. "Strange, I know. But the only reason I'm okay is because I dragged Vilkas into it too."

Farkas nodded and smiled. "I thought I'd never see this day."

Vilkas nodded and crossed his arms.

Farkas smiled and looked back at me. He walked over and reached out, pulling me up into his arms in a huge hug.

I hugged him back. He pulled away, stepping back. I smiled at him. Farkas's eyes locked to Vilkas's. I looked at Vilkas, who was stiffer than a board.

Farkas smiled and said "I'll go tell the others you're back." He lumbered off loudly, leaving Vilkas by me. I looked over at him, and he had relaxed slightly, looking around Jorrvaskr calmly.

"Thanks."

He blinked and looked down at me. "For what?" He asked with an eyebrow raised.

I looked down and said softly "For bringing me back here."

He stayed silent, and I looked up at him. His blue eyes were searching mine for something, and I felt my face warm. His eyes were soft, and he looked away. "Aye."

"Wow, I don't give you enough credit, do I Vilkas?"

We both looked at Aela, who was smirking lightly. She glanced quickly to me from Vilkas, asking "Where in Nirn have you been?"

I shrugged, replying "A little bit of everywhere."

She nodded and quickly asessed me, looking me up and down. She quickly looked at Vilkas and smiled. He visibly stiffened from her gaze.

"Well, it's nice to know you're not dead, Harbinger."

I nodded, smiling. Everyone else was slowly crowding in, looking at me with smiles on their face. Except Njada, she didn't smile, but she did say she was glad I'd not died.

They all stood around me, laughing and talking, accepting me right back in the family. I looked around at everyone, seeing one face missing. I looked back, seeing Vilkas leaned up against the door frame, sighing softly. I looked around at everyone, who didn't seem to notice. I pushed around Athis and Njada, grabbing Vilkas's hand.

He looked up quickly in surprise. I smiled and said while rising my hand in the air "How about a round for the man who dragged me across Skyrim to get me back?"

Everyone cheered and laughed. I lowered his hand and looked at him. He glanced at me, his eyes uncharacteristically soft.

I released his hand and walked over to everyone, and Farkas's booming voice called out "I think it's time to celebrate the return of the Harbinger!"

Everyone cheered again, especially Torvar as everyone started getting tankards of mead. We all raised our mugs and cheered out "To the return of the Harbinger!"

We all drank it down and partied, enjoying ourselves. I smiled widely, happy to see everyone grinning and laughing. My eyes searched the room for Vilkas, and I noticed him sitting down with some mead, Farkas sitting next to him, talking in hushed voices.

I frowned, wondering what was going on with them. I shook it away as Torvar said while raising his mug "To my favorite drinking buddy!" I laughed at his slurred tone, raising my tankard too and bringing it to my lips. I smiled at the warmth that was building in my stomach, the room cozy and I felt happy to be back.

I looked back towards Vilkas and Farkas. Farkas glanced up at me and back to Vilkas, who was staring into his tankard.

I shrugged it off, drinking the rest of my tankard.

* * *

I laughed as Torvar rambled off in story, his slurring of it making it almost impossible to understand what he was saying. I still laughed like an idiot, emptying another mug. I was one my... Eighth? No, my tenth... Whatever. I grinned like an idiot, slurring out while laughing "I love this story, ya know? Is.. tha greatest.. ugh... time..."

I continued laughing, and everyone else was still laughing and enjoying themselves. I stood up and said "Let me tell all a... story! So I wassh in thish cave, and outta nowhhere, this huge bear came up to me and was like 'Rawr I'm gonna eat you!' And I wassh like "Naw you aren't!' and-"

Someone reached around my waist, saying quietly "I think you've had enough to drink."

I was going to protest, but I was already being pulled away. I struggled, saying as threateningly as I could "If you don't let me drink, Imma shout you to pieces!"

The voice chuckled. The deep rumble vibrated through me, and I couldn't help but relax at the voice. "You wouldn't shout me to pieces. You'd miss me too much."

I dragged my feet, my eyelids very heavy. I relaxed into his grip, finding myself much more tired than I thought. He stopped as I fell in between awake and asleep. I felt my feet slip from the floor, and I was floating. Except I was being carried, but I was too tired to tell the difference.

I curled into the arms, falling asleep quickly.

* * *

Vilkas sighed softly, carrying her sleeping form down the stairs. He wasn't surprised by how fast she fell asleep. She curled right up, sighing softly and laying her cheek against his cool armor. He looked down at her quietly, still walking slowly towards her room.

Her features were soft, relaxed. It was so much different from her usually hardened warrior look, with her eyes strong and cold. No, she looked much more like a child would. Innocent. Her tanned cheeks were almost babyish, with freckles across the cheekbones and nose. He'd never noticed them before.

Her eyes were closed, eyelashes long and dark. Her brown hair was slightly messy, a few strands in her face. She'd already changed into normal clothing before getting drunk, so she looked a lot less intimidating.

He felt a warm feeling in the bottom of his stomach. He blinked and opened the doors to her chambers, entering the master bedroom. He set her down softly, pushing some of her hair out of her face.

He leaned over her, his face lingering over hers for a moment. Time froze, and he sat there for what felt like a century before sighing and stepping away. He slipped around the bed as quietly as he could. He stepped out of the room, turning to shut the doors. He paused and sighed, shutting them.

"Goodnight."

He turned and walked out of her room, heading to his. He stripped himself of his armor, sitting down on the edge of his bed. He buried his face in his hands, sighing loudly. He ran them through his hair, standing up and pacing his room.

His body was overrun with millions of confusing emotions. Anger, confusion, worry, sadness. He felt like a storm of everything possible was building in him. It was _her _fault. She was the one who did this to him. When he hadn't given a shit about her, he never felt like this.

But she wormed her way into him, and now he can't rid himself of it!

He growled and slammed his fist down on the table. He stood there silently, his eyes closed tightly. He unclenched his hands, trembling as he raised them to hair, running his fingers through it. He sat back down on the bed.

_Maybe it's my fault too._

He sighed, looking down at his hands. He sighed and walked over to the pouch of items he had. He reached in, pulling a small gold ring. He stared at it quietly, sighing deeply. He closed his hand around it, setting it down on the table. He walked over to his bed and lay down, staring at the ceiling.

Sleep wasn't coming for him tonight.

* * *

**Chapter 13 everyone!**

**Yay for a little bit of Vilkas third-person!**

**Well, don't forget to review or PM your thoughts, and if you really like my story, make sure to favorite it and follow!**

**I'll see you next time then.**

**Bye! :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi everyone!**

**I know I've been really bad about updating, but I can't seem to catch a break!**

**Therefore, I can't find the time to update!**

**Infuriating, yes, but enough to make me quit? No way in hell.**

**I'd like to thank everyone for the reviews, they are very touching and keep reminding me to get my life in gear and get writing!**

**So, don't forget to review and leave your thoughts, or even PM.**

**Here you go!**

* * *

I groaned and tried opening my eyes, but it was so _damned _bright in my room, I couldn't bring myself to. My head hurt like I'd head butted a dragon back to its grave. Which would be pretty damn close to impossible but still. I turned over to my belly, burying my face in my pillow.

I drifted back off, or came close to it.

"Harbinger?"

I growled and grabbed the unused pillow in my fist, clenching around it. Footsteps echoed in my room before the voice said quietly "Harbinger."

I swung the pillow at their general vicinity, cracking a small smile when I heard an 'oomph' from them. They growled lightly and a hand touched my shoulder. I shivered lightly at the touch, shrinking into my covers more.

"Kaera." The voice called softly, and I couldn't help but look at them, finally opening my eyes. Vilkas stood crouched next to my bed, his hand on my shoulder. His normally bright and icy blue eyes were dull, almost like the eyes of a child who heard that he'd be getting no sweets until he finished eating his dinner. Almost like he was sad or upset.

I blinked and asked quietly, my voice seeming very loud in my ears "Are you okay, Vilkas?"

He winced lightly, like I'd struck him, and he nodded, forcing a smile. I frowned at him, not pleased._ He should know better than to try and lie to me._

"What's bothering you?"

His fake smile fell from his face, and his eyes softened. I stared into his eyes, and decided I liked when his eyes weren't so harsh. But somehow I'd grown to like his cold ice eyes too. I tossed the ideas into the back of my mind, waiting for Vilkas to react.

His mouth opened lightly, but he quickly shut it, blinking. His eyes were their normal icy stare, and he stood up quickly. "Whenever you're ready, we'll head for Morvunskar."

I nodded and watched him glide out of my room stiffly, and I sighed. Whenever we seemed to be getting along okay, and almost improving our friendship, he would turn into _that _and shove me away.

_Gods give me strength...Why does he always gotta be like that?!_

I groaned and stretched out in my bed, kicking the covers off. It felt nice to sleep in a bed once more. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands sleepily, trying to rub away the hangover. Sadly, it didn't work, so I slipped out of bed and onto my feet slowly, making sure not to stand up too fast and make the headache worse.

I shuffled my way towards the wardrobe, stubbing my toe on the table at the end of the bed. "Gods damned table!" I yelled as quietly as possible, but I was sure someone else probably heard me. I crouched and rubbed my foot, biting down on my tongue to stop from cursing any louder.

I stood back up and walked slowly to the wardrobe again, carefully avoiding any other objects I could hurt myself on. I opened the doors of the closet, looking at all the different armors packed in there tightly. I frowned, wondering what sort of armor I wanted.

I stared blankly at my options, biting my cheeks in thought. I could wear my Nightingale armor, my Wolf armor, or the my old steel plate armor I first got after I left Helgen.

I smiled and pulled out the steel plate armor. Even though my other armor was nicer, I had always liked the how the steel plate armor allowed movement and protection. I slowly donned my armor, slipping my sword around my waist and stringing my bow to my back with a quiver. I sighed in content and made my way out of the room, leaving my quarters and walking out into the hall. I peeked around before heading towards Vilkas's room. I knocked on the door before opening it, peeking in. He wasn't in it.

I shrugged and walked down the hall and headed upstairs, looking among the talking people. I spotted him leaned up against a wall, waiting. I watched from the stairway, spying on him. Njada walked over to him, smiling. I frowned lightly. She talked to him, smiling and gazing at him strangely. I'd never seen her look at someone like that.

My eyebrows raised in question as her fingers brushed against his chestplate. I felt my gut twist lightly, but it soon went away when I had to stifle a laugh at his expression. He took a step back, giving her a look. I giggled lightly, covering my mouth to quiet myself. He said something and she scowled, striding off.

I grinned like an idiot at the interaction, finally walking all the way up the stairs. I pretending to look around for him, and he noticed me as soon as I made my way to the top of the staircase. I started making my way towards him. He met me halfway, by the firepit.

"Morning you drunk." He said with a small grin.

I rolled my eyes, saying "I couldn't have been that bad. Besides, Torvar probably didn't make it down the stairs."

He chuckled and said "You wouldn't have made it down them without _my _help. If you'd tried, we'd be looking for another Harbinger."

I punched his arm lightly and said "Well, should we be heading out?"

"Aye." He said, giving me a lopsided smile. I smiled back. I noticed out of the corner of my eye Njada scowling at me. I blinked in surprise, wondering if I did something to make her angry last night.

I pushed the thoughts away as I followed Vilkas out of Jorrvaskr, going to Morvunskar.

* * *

The trip was quiet, without many animal encounters. I sighed in a bored fashion, examining plants on the sides of the road. I peeked at Vilkas to make sure he wasn't looking as I quickly snatched up a few blue mountain flowers.

I looked back at him again and grabbed a few more. I continued grabbing them as quickly as I could, stuffing them in my pouch.

"You know, for a thief, you're not being very sneaky."

I laughed and said sarcastically "Oh, I forgot, you're the _master _at _sneaking_, Mr. I wear the loudest armor _ever._"

He chuckled, and looked over at me, his icy eyes bright. He shook in his armor, purposely making himself loud. I rolled my eyes.

He laughed and returned to walking normal. I looked along the road, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere. I looked over at him, watching the way his blue eyes scoped the area out. His walk was smooth and he glided everywhere.

His face had this relaxed and calm look. I noted again that he was quite handsome when he was relaxed. I blushed a little as I stared at his eyes. They were such a pretty blue. He glanced over at me, an eyebrow raising. "What are you staring at?"

I laughed and said "I'm obviously looking at the blue butterfly behind you."

He rolled his eyes, saying "I'm being serious."

I grinned and replied "I am too. It's a really pretty blue color. It's just floating around on its wings right there."

He blinked, and he peeked over his shoulder. I smiled softly as he watched the butterfly flutter away. He looked back at me.

"Honestly, I didn't think you were being serious about a butterfly being there."

I laughed again, gasping dramatically and throwing my hand to my chest "You thought I _wouldn't _be serious about a _blue butterfly_?! I'm absolutely flabbergasted."

He laughed a little, shaking his head. "I was so clearly mistaken."

I nodded, crossing my arms and pretending to pout. "Can't believe you thought I'd lie about butterflies."

He laughed and said "You're such child."

I grinned and stuck my tongue out. "I'd rather be more like a child than an old man like you!"

He blinked and looked over at me. "Did you just call _me _old?"

I smirked, nodding. "Come on, you can't tell me you aren't like, _forty _winters yet."

His jaw dropped and he practically yelled "I'm thirty-three winters!"

I gasped and said "Wow. You're still really _old._"

He growled and said "Oh, and how old are you?"

I smiled and answered while giggling "Twenty-nine."

He blinked and shouted "Four years?! That makes me old?!"

I laughed and nodded, trying to breathe while laughing hysterically.

He growled and chuckled, raising his hand to his ear. "You hear that?"

I blinked, looking at him in surprise. "What?"

He grinned evilly, suddenly throwing me over his shoulder. I squeaked in surprise, struggling in his steel grip. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING VILKAS?!"

He laughed and said in a rough whisper "I hear water running. Maybe a stream?"

I blinked in confusion before my jaw dropped. "You wouldn't dare." I said, threatening him.

He just laughed. I started flailing around like an idiot, trying to break his grip.

"No no no-no no! I'm sorry Vilkas, you're not old! Please, please! Don't do it!"

He chuckled and said "Alright."

I sighed in relief and stopped flailing around and asked "Are you going to let me walk?"

He shook his head, saying "No, because if you're going to act like such a child, I better treat you like one."

I gasped, saying loudly "That's not fair!"

He chuckled and said "Life isn't fair."

I grumbled and he carried my around like that for quite a while. I asked quietly "How is it you aren't tired by now?"

He chuckled and answered "I've carried a lot of things that weigh more than you. Which brings me to a question. Why in Shor's bones do you feel so light?"

I giggled and said "Maybe because unlike most Nord women, I'm not more curvy than an hourglass and my bust isn't so big that you can't see my face."

Vilkas interjected "That's not true. There are Nord women who don't have huge breasts."

I rolled my eyes and said "Name one."

He remained silent for a moment before saying "Njada."

I chuckled and responded "Well, she's kinda more man-like than woman."

Vilkas shrugged and said "Well, you don't have huge breasts, and you're Nord."

I laughed and said sarcastically "Oh thank you for pointing that out."

He quickly said "That's not saying they aren't nice, but-"

I laughed loudly. "Did you just admit to looking at my boobs, and thinking they are _nice_?"

He coughed and said loudly "That's not-"

I giggled and answered "Well, I guess it wouldn't really matter, you've seen them from my small-clothes in Markarth."

He stayed silent for a moment. I considered it and said "That's kinda an unfair advantage you have."

He asked quietly "What?"

I said bluntly "Well, even though I was wearing small-clothes, you could still see my breast size, but from your small-clothes, I wouldn't be able to tell what size you are."

He coughed loudly and started choking lightly. He set me down quickly and took two long strides to the other side of the road, and said nothing else when I tried to talk to him. And he stayed like that for the rest of the trip to Morvunskar.

* * *

**That's chapter 14 everybody!**

**This was kinda more of a fluffy chapter. Kinda needed one. :3**

**Sorry it's on the short side. Hope you enjoyed. Next chapter will be in Morvunskar. **

**And our bestest uncle Sanguine will be letting some secrets free.**

**Are you excited? I am!**

**See you next time!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi everyone!**

**You ready for this chapter?**

**I am. It's a nice chapter length too. :D**

**Review and if you please, PM me!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

I inhaled sharply, trying to catch my breath. The magister at Morvunskar put up quite the fight. I sat down against the wall, trying to breathe. I looked down at my armor, checking for places I'd have to repair.

_Maybe Eorlund can fix it up._

I was so deep in thought and concentration I completely forgot Vilkas was there. I continued to rub points in my body for bruises. I took short breaths.

_God, my lungs hurt..._

gauntleted hands started shaking me, Vilkas's voice cutting into my trance "Kaera!"

I blinked and looked at him, asking loudly "What's your problem?"

He stared at me like I was speaking in a different language. I waited for him to say something, which took probably a minute or so.

"I'm not the one with a dagger embedded in their ribcage to the hilt!" He almost shouted at me.

I raised both eyebrows in surprise. I looked over at my left side, and sure enough, an ebony blade was barely sticking out of my ribs. I inhaled, feeling a sharp pain in my side. I grabbed for it, trying to pull it out, but I couldn't at the angle it was at without tearing my insides more.

_It must have gotten pretty damn close to puncturing the other side of my ribs._

I bit down on my lip in pain when I tried to remove it. Fingers brushed mine away from the dagger. I looked over at Vilkas, who was staring at me with blue eyes washed in worry. I offered a weak smile. Breathing continually got harder as I sat with the dagger in my ribs.

"Kaera." Vilkas's voice was rigid, almost raw. He was staring at me in concern and almost fear.

I stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

He swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment. He opened his eyes and said with a serious look "Hold on to me tightly."

I usually would have cracked a joke, but from the look on his face, I just nodded and didn't say anything. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held my face in the crook of his neck. I could feel his hand grip the end of the dagger. I closed my eyes tightly, burying my face in his neck. He smelled very nice, like wood and pine.

I screamed in pain, the sound muffled due to me burying my face in the nook of his neck. I sucked in air in rapid breaths painfully. I was panting, still holding Vilkas tightly. His hands pressed tightly against my wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

I closed my eyes and focused my concentration to taking smooth, slow breaths. I felt a stirring within my core. I focused on it, summoning it to my fingers. The warmth that began in my fingers twirled and danced across my skin, and I could feel my wound mend and I opened my eyes to see Vilkas jump back in surprise while the yellow light flooded him too.

He was blinking in surprise. He looked at me in bewilderment. I chuckled at his expression, looking down at where the dagger had dug into my rib. I grinned at the scar the dagger left.

Vilkas asked in confusion "Did you just heal me?"

I smiled and nodded, slowly pushing up to my feet. I felt a little dizzy from using so much magic on Vilkas and I. I leaned against the wall, replying "It was one of the best healing spells I have. It helped ease your soreness and bruises, didn't it?"

He blinked and nodded. "It was like a warmth that traveled from your ribs through my fingers and over my body."

I nodded and laughed. "That healing spell heals anyone in the general vicinity of me."

He stared at my now scarred side, asking "Does it still hurt?"

I shrugged, replying "It feels like the wound is in the stages healing. It's more of a dull ache."

He looked at it in curiosity. I smiled again, finding his curiosity to magic strange. Most Nords wouldn't trust it or even like seeing it. He looked up at me and asked "What does it feel like when you cast spells?"

I thought for a moment on how to explain the feeling. I finally answered "Well, at first it feels kinda like something in your core is moving, stirring inside you. Then, you concentrate on that feeling, focus your energy into it. Then, think of the magic school you're using. In restoration, you focus on seeing the wounds close, or the feeling of relief. And then you'll feel the energy travel from your fingers across you body in restoration. You'll feel a little drained of energy, but that's because the magicka supply in your body was used."

He nodded and looked down at his hands. "Can anyone use magic?"

I laughed, saying "Well, everyone has a supply of magicka in their body, but certain races have more magicka than others, so it really depends. Some people have to focus very hard to call upon magic, where some people can almost snap their fingers and have magic appear. And of course, certain spells are more advanced."

He just nodded and continued looking at his fingers. I smiled and said "Would you like to learn some?"

He flinched and his expression changed immediately. He scowled and shook his head, saying "We should continue."

I blinked in surprise at the sudden change. I watched him look down, not meeting my eyes. I frowned, not saying anything else. I noticed a small shine in the corner of my eye. I looked over to see a small ring on the floor. I started walking towards it, and could hear Vilkas following quietly.

A light flashed and a portal opened, humming lightly. I looked over at Vilkas, who was staring at it in caution. I grabbed his hand and said "Come on."

He shook his head, saying "I don't trust it. It feels like it's...Other-worldly."

I nodded, replying "I think it is. But we don't have any other leads to Sam." I pulled on him lightly, but he didn't budge. Sighing, I released my hand and moved towards it, saying "Fine, I'll go myself."

An arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me back into his chest. "Don't."

I frowned and unwrapped myself from his grip, saying "Are you coming?"

He seemed torn for a moment, obviously not wanting to enter, but he sighed and nodded. I grabbed his hand and he looked at me. I smiled reassuringly, and he inhaled deeply. I turned and we walked into the portal.

* * *

I blinked and suddenly, we were in a totally different world. It was soft and hazy from the mist, the lanterns glowing softly. A small river trickled in front of us. I looked over at Vilkas, who seemed as entranced by the place as me. His icy eyes were a soft blue. I felt a strange warmth flood over me. I blushed and looked away.

He was still holding my hand. I didn't care though. I took in the beautiful grove, saying breathlessly "It's...Beautiful..."

I looked at Vilkas again, who nodded in agreement. "I've never seen anything like this."

I nodded and slowly took a step forward, Vilkas walking with me. His hand finally slipped from mine, and I looked down at my fingers. I felt very strange.

We continued walking slowly through the world. I noticed a group of people at a table, and Sam was standing smiling.

Vilkas noticed him too, saying "Come on."

I followed him, watching Sam. As we approached, Sam said "Ah, there they are! We've been waiting for you."

I stared at him in confusion. "Where are we?"

He smiled and said "Here..." I watched his form shift into a dremora. I blinked rapidly. "I, am Sanguine, you can call me uncle!"

Vilkas seemed as surprised as I was. "Where is the staff?"

He smiled widely and said "Ah yes, here it is. It won't need any repairs. It's just fine."

I nodded and took the strange staff. Its shape was that of a rose. I looked at it in curiosity. He grinned and said "I should be sending you two home."

I blinked and said quickly "Wait!"

He stopped and asked "What?"

I stared at him and pulled the ring off my fingers, asking "Where did this come from? Who did I marry?"

He grinned widely and replied "Maybe you should ask The Companion next to you. He might know."

* * *

I blinked and looked over at Vilkas, but we were no longer in Sanguine's plane of Oblivion. We were back in the tavern in Whiterun. He wasn't looking at me.

"Vilkas."

He blinked and looked over at me. I stared into his blue eyes, searching for answers. He closed his eyes and reached into his pouch. He pulled out a ring and handed it to me. I looked down at it.

It was the same as mine.

I looked up at him, frowning. "Why didn't you say anything?!"

He stayed silent.

"You could have told me!"

He looked up at me and scowled. "Oh yeah?! So you could be upset that you got married to me?! So you could yell at me and blame me for this marriage I've known about since I woke up with a ring on my finger that matched yours in Markarth?!"

I shouted back at him "So you don't tell me and I have to learn from a Daedric Prince that I'm married to the man who was with the trip with me the _whole fucking time?!_"

He scowled and countered " I didn't tell you because I knew you'd act like this! I knew you were going to do this!"

He paused for a moment before saying "Like you'll stay in this marriage anyways. You don't give a shit who you marry as long as it isn't me."

I frowned, and as much as I didn't want to admit it, his words hurt. I wanted to say something, to be angry, but I only felt hurt. He turned and walked out of the Bannered Mare, leaving me staring at the floorboards.

I turned to Hulda and threw a coinpurse on the counter, managing to get out "One room."

She nodded and looked at me with pity. I ignored it and went up into the room, locking the door behind me. I removed all my armor and sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at my balled fists in my lap. I watched a few small droplets of water fall on them, a shimmer from the moonlight flooding in on them.

I closed my eyes tightly, shaking my head. _I won't cry. No way am I going to cry over him._

I opened my eyes and stared at my hands, unclenching them. I brought them to my eyes, and clenched my jaw.

_Why does this hurt so much?_

* * *

Vilkas walked back up to Jorrvaskr, almost like a phantom. He was there, but he wasn't. He opened the door to Jorrvaskr and kept walking, ignoring Farkas's calls to him. He continued downstairs and into his room, shutting the door quietly. He threw off his gauntlets and kicked his boots off, removing his breastplate quickly and tossing it aside his boots.

He stood still before snarling and punching the wooden wall, making a ring of splintered wood. He stood there taking short breaths. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He removed his hand from the splintered wood, his fist slightly bloodied. He stared at his white knuckles. He slowly unclenched his fingers and sat down, staring at his bleeding hand.

_Why does this hurt so damn much?_

He sighed and ran his hands through his thick dark brown hair, closing his eyes. He was exhausted, but he wasn't going to sleep tonight.

_Dammit._

His chest hurt like hell. He inhaled deeply, the constricting feeling still there. He knew it wasn't going away either.

_This feels so damned bad._

* * *

**That, my readers, is chapter 15.**

**Yes, I did drive them farther apart. Again.**

**Don't worry, it'll get better later. And I updated really fast, didn't I?!**

**WOOHOO!**

**Anyways, don't forget to review and even PM me questions.**

**I always appreciate it.**

**See you in chapter 16!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Wow, are you guys surprised? I am.**

**I hadn't expected to update chapter 16 again so soon, but here we are!**

**:D**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter, please feel free to PM questions and review!**

**Here you go!**

* * *

I woke up feeling empty, a dull pain in my chest that wouldn't go away. I didn't want to accept it, didn't want to admit that _he _could make me feel this way, but he could. And that could only mean one thing.

I hold some sort of feelings to him, and care about him, even if it's only a little. There is no other way he could make me hurt like this with just a couple of words.

I sighed and sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes. Climbing out of bed, I grabbed my armor, quickly donning it. I frowned, looking down at my fingers, clenching and unclenching them.

_I feel horrible. I overreacted like an idiot..._

I unlocked the door to my room, leaving for Jorrvaskr. I tossed the key to Hulda while I passed by, muttering a thank you while leaving the tavern. I looked around the bustling market, seeing many happy faces. It made the ache in my chest hurt a little more.

_I probably made him feel as miserable as me._

I sighed and walked my way up to Jorrvaskr, staring at the proud hall. It was a site for sore eyes, to say in the least. I'd missed it during the time I'd been gone. I smiled lightly as I entered the doors, to bump into someone as soon as I made my way through the door.

I blinked in surprise and said "Excuse me."

I looked up to see Farkas grinning happily. "Oh, so you are coming home! Vilkas never said when I tried to talk to him yesterday night."

I suddenly felt guilty again. I smiled and said "Speaking of which, where is you brother?"

Farkas shrugged and said "In the training yard. He's been there since sunrise. He hasn't taken a break at all..."

More waves of guilt washed over me when Farkas asked "Did something happen between you two?"

I shook my head, lying "No, not that I know of."

Farkas stared at me for a moment before nodding, saying "Well, maybe it would be good for him to talk to you."

I nodded and stepped around the younger twin, heading towards the training yard. I was almost to the doors when Njada said "He doesn't want to see you."

I blinked, looking over to her. She was standing by the door frame, grinning. I said quietly "How would you know; he doesn't even talk to you."

She frowned and answered "Because I saw how he looked at you yesterday. He doesn't like you. You'd just be a good bed."

I felt anger bubble up in me, and my beast snarled, but I stay calm and said "He _obviously _didn't want to bed you."

She scowled and snarled out "Bitch. I don't know why he could even stand to be near you."

I smiled evilly and replied while stepping out into the training yard "Ditto, whelp."

* * *

I noticed Vilkas practicing his stance and swings with full concentration on air. I felt myself let out a breath, my chest hurting more than earlier. I was relieved that he wasn't completely destroying the training dummies or showing distraction in his swings. If he was, that would mean he's still pissed.

I watched his icy eyes lock onto me, and he stopped, straightening his posture and sheathing his greatsword. We met halfway at the small steps.

"Look, I-"

"I wanted to-"

We awkwardly talked at the same time. I laughed nervously, and said "You go."

He shook his head, blinking a few times before saying "I... I was angry, and I upset, and I..." He paused, sighing. "Why don't you go?"

I swallowed and nodded, saying "Um... I-I overreacted last night, in the bar. I was surprised, and upset that you hadn't told me... I want... I'm sorry."

He blinked and replied "I'm sorry too."

I nodded and we stood there awkwardly. I moved over to the bench, offering him a seat. He accepted and we sat there silently for a while.

I didn't look at him as I asked "Do you actually not remember that night?"

He frowned and answered honestly "I only remember the marriage ceremony."

I blinked and nodded, still looking at my lap. "...Was it nice?"

He glanced at me and looked away quickly. "It was good..."

"Just good?"

He said quickly "That's not-"

I giggled a little, saying "I'm not upset by your comment. I'm just... I always believed that if I ever remarried, which I had doubted, it would be the greatest night of my life. And I can't even remember it."

I sighed deeply, rubbing my eyes exhaustedly. I was tired from the last two days. Mentally and emotionally especially.

"It was a pretty good night I'd say. I mean, we got naked and defiled the temple of _Dibella,_ stole a goat and sold it to a giant, 'fell in love' at Witchmist Grove, got married, and received a staff from the Daedric Prince of Debauchery, who you happened to have a few drinks with. That's a pretty crazy night. A really memorable night, even if we don't remember most of it."

I smiled and looked at Vilkas, who gave a small grin. "Guess you could say that."

He nodded and I laughed. I sighed and replied "If only I could remember it."

We sat there quietly like that for sometime, but it wasn't awkward. It was just peaceful, relaxing silence. I looked over at him and asked "What are we going to do about this?" I pointed to my ring, which was on my finger.

He ran his hand through his hair, sighing. "I don't know. What do you want to do about it?"

I looked down at my feet, inhaling deeply. I said quietly "Well, what can we do?"

"...We could revoke the marriage."

I looked over at Vilkas, who was staring down at the floor. He looked disconnected from the world. I shook my head. "Or we could just go with it." I suggested, giving a light smile.

He blinked rapidly and looked at me in surprise. He repeated "Just go with it?"

I nodded, chuckling. "Well, the worst we could do is kill each other in frustration."

He let out a small laugh and said "I don't think this marriage is a safe thing."

I nodded, saying "But... How are we going to do this?"

He blinked and looked back at the ground, thinking hard. He said "We need some ground rules."

I nodded, biting my cheeks in thought. I glanced over at him and said "How about we start with how we act around each other."

He paused and thought for a moment before saying "We should act like a married couple..."

I nodded, stopping and thinking before asking "How exactly are we supposed to do that?"

He shrugged and said in a raised voice "Hey, you were the one who had a husband before!"

I laughed and replied "Well, I hope I'm the one who had a _husband._"

He frowned, replying "Be serious, Kaera."

I blushed and replied "Well, newly married couples are usually... infatuated with one another... But I'd rather not try to relive my first marriage... So let's just treat each other nicely and try not to kill one another. I think that's how older married couples live."

Nodding, he added "What about...Relationships?"

I looked at him, staring into his icy blue eyes. "Relationships? As in sex?"

He flinched at the word, saying "In the blunt way of putting it, yes."

I felt my guts twist up inside. I looked down at the ground, saying quietly "You can do whatever you want with whoever you want. I think everyone has needs, so..."

Vilkas just swallowed and replied "Yeah..."

I stole a look at him. He looked just as uncomfortable with the thought of cheating as me. I said "Actually, unless you don't want to do that. I-"

"Yeah, let's just try to stay faithful... If it doesn't work..."

I added quickly "Yeah."

We sat there awkwardly. I looked down at the ring before looking up to say "When are we telling the rest of the Companions?"

He winced again, replying "I think Aela already suspects it, but I think we should just wait on it and come out at the right time."

I stared at him in bewilderment. "How can she _already _suspect that?!"

He answered back "When we came back the first night and everyone came up to us, Aela looked over at you and caught sight of your ring, and she just turned and smiled at me."

I blushed and asked "Do you think she's mentioned it to anybody else?"

Vilkas scowled, almost pouting "No, that'd be too easy, she's waiting for us to tell everyone!"

I laughed a little at his expression, saying "Well, for now, let's just pretend nothing is going on between us when we are at Jorrvaskr, but maybe when we are in public, we practice being a couple."

He nodded and said "That sounds like a good idea."

I gave a short nod of agreement and stood up, saying "Well, let's see how this goes."

He sighed and replied "Pray to the gods, Kaera. Pray to the gods."

I laughed, closing my eyes tightly and saying "Sanguine, please let us have some peace!"

Vilkas said loudly "Now we'll never get any!"

I rolled my eyes and laughed, Vilkas following suit. After a few minutes, we calmed down and went back into Jorrvaskr, going back to almost completely ignoring each other.

Almost.

I sighed while I munched on some bread, talking to Athis. He was telling me about a job he had not long ago. I smiled and laughed with him, keeping one eye on Vilkas who was smiling a little while his brother cracked another joke, laughing hysterically.

His icy blue eyes met mine, and I cracked a smirk. He just turned away, a grin on his face.

_Gods help us._

* * *

**A slightly shorter chapter than the last one, but that's still two in one day. You gotta give me credit. :D**

**So, how's that for a quick update? :P**

**Woo, I'm tired. I think I might write my next chapter tomorrow, since I'm pretty mentally wiped out of ideas and words. ;)**

**Don't forget to review, I always appreciate it!**

**See you in chapter 17!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey everybody! You know those days where you're so ill you can't even leave the bathroom?**

**Yeah, I was having one of those days yesterday.**

**So, I'm back, and hopefully you enjoy. I'm sorta suffering from writer's block.**

**Anyways, don't forget to review! :D**

* * *

Her laugh was soft, yet he could hear it from across the room. He had to glance over at her. It'd been a few days since they'd talked about their..._predicament._ He sighed quietly, his eyes grazing over her in a casual way. She was talking to his brother about something, to which his brother was laughing very loudly at whatever she said.

Her honey brown eyes flickered over to him, and she held his stare before blinking when Farkas clapped her on the back, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. She looked very awkward, and Farkas was smiling and watching her with a strange look.

Vilkas pursed his lips in curiosity, a tingle traveling from his spine to his fingers, which twitched as he contemplated his brother's gaze on Kaera. He felt a bubbling feeling in the pit of his stomach, which started to burn hot.

He blinked and looked down to his ale. Taking a swig, the strange sensations he'd had slipped away. He shot another look to her out of the corner of his steely eyes. She was smiling, chuckling. It was a slightly pleasant sound, and she looked up at Farkas, whose expression she'd completely ignored.

He slipped his ring out of his pocket again, focusing on it in deep thought. It was an exact match to hers, so she wore her ring around while he just stuffed his in his pockets.

_How will we make this marriage work?_

It'd been the question he'd been asking himself since Markarth. They weren't lovers. Barely close enough to call each other friends. So how would they be able to play it off that they were now married and happily so?

He thought back to when he was younger, and he said he'd marry a nice housewife, to cook him meals and tend his house if he ever bought one, yet she could defend herself relatively okay.

_Blonde with breasts, that was the standards..._ He couldn't help but laugh to himself quietly. Kaera wasn't _at all _what he was planning to marry. Yet here he was, married to one of the most important people in Skyrim.

_In Tameriel, really._

She had saved the whole world from being swallowed. He sighed. She'd accomplished more than many, that was sure.

He took another drink of his ale, closing his eyes slowly. He could see her, standing in front of him, covered in blood and grinning from ear to ear. He opened his eyes, shaking his head. It was a shock to him that she'd been married before, considering how she acted now._ She probably wasn't who she is now back then, _Vilkas told himself.

He then saw images flash of her in a beautiful long dress and corset, stirring soup with a smile on her face, and he could hear he say "Dinner is almost done, my love." He could hear the admiration and devotion in her voice. His stomach felt very warm, a strange sensation bubbling in him, and he felt giddy suddenly. That's when he saw another man step in behind her, caressing her while resting his head on her shoulder, smiling lovingly.

His stomach suddenly flipped, and he felt a warmth bubbling through him again, burning a large hole in his gut. He stared down at his fingers, which tingled with sparks, and they twitched again, causing him to close his hands into a fist.

He looked over at her, and his brother was smiling at her softly, and suddenly, Vilkas felt very, very sick again. He looked down at his ale, taking a large swig of it again.

_It's not like we are anything. Why should I concern myself with these thoughts?_

He stared at her, with her long, softly curling light brown hair. Studying her face, he realized that she was actually much prettier than he originally considered her. He was back to thinking about their marriage.

He thought about what he'd wanted from marriage not very long ago. He remembered seeing children giggling and running up to their father after doing a job of rescuing him from some Falmer. They hugged him and he picked them both up as he walked over to his wife, who was sobbing while he comforted her.

It was then that Vilkas really knew he wanted to have family of his own to raise. He blinked and stared at Kaera again. She looked over at him, and gave a small awkward smile. He just gave her a curt nod and looked down at his ale, taking a swig only to find it was empty.

He sighed and just stared down into his ale bottle, looking for answers he knew he wouldn't find. He twirled the bottle on his finger in thought, trying to think of reasons why he felt so strangely about everything concerning Kaera.

_It's not like we are anythin_g...

Yet he found himself sitting here at table alone, eying her and his brother tensely as the twitching in his fingers kept getting worse, and he clenched his right hand tighter while he stopped playing with the bottle, a spark of electricity travelling through his bones.

He wanted answers, but this was just too much for him to make sense of. He sighed, staring down at his twitching fingers.

He wished the old man was still here. He could have made sense of this. He could hear the voice in his mind, chuckling at him.

_'You are letting your intellect from finding the answers boy. Sometimes you must look with your heart instead of eyes.'_

He blinked in slight surprise. It reminded him of something Kodlak would say to him in this predicament, but he couldn't make sense of it. He sighed, his fingers slowly slowing with the twitching.

Again, he glanced at Kaera, who was now talking with Aela, smiling happily. He felt his hopes of possibly having a family and a loving wife slip away. But a small part in the back of his mind brought the image of her holding an infant while he stood next to her, smiling proudly.

He blinked, and his throat constricted quickly. His fingers were twitching terribly. He sighed, and closed his eyes.

_Why did I even rush down to find her that night, when Olfina came knocking for me to come escort the drunk Dragonborn home?_

He'd never really thought about it. He just heard the words and quickly headed down there without thinking; it was like instinct told him to go.

_And then... Sanguine..._

He thought of the Daedric Prince, and wondered if he and Kaera would ever fully get their memories. He'd get blurry, out of focus images randomly of Kaera, him, or both in some place he couldn't identify. But Kaera, she didn't seem to be remembering anything.

_If only I could remember that night!_

His fingers strummed loudly, and he brainstormed. _Maybe if I could remember, I could find the answers I'm searching for..._

He hadn't noticed anyone approach him, and was slightly caught off-guard when Farkas plopped into his vision in the chair across from him. Farkas smiled, which Vilkas returned rather half-heartedly, returning his concentration to his thoughts.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?"

Vilkas stopped strumming his fingers and looked up and Farkas and said "Nothing of serious importance."

Farkas nodded, staying quiet. Vilkas looked down at the table again, thinking before asking while locking eyes with his twins light soft blue eyes "What do you like about Kaera?"

His brother at first seemed a bit surprised, but quickly answered with a smile "Well, she's funny and nice, and seems to enjoy being around me."

Vilkas nodded in an almost instinctive way, like he'd barely registered the answer. Farkas watched him with curiosity before asking "Why did you ask?"

Vilkas blinked and his eyes became as sharp as steel, the icy blue contrasting his constricted pupil and his war paint. Vilkas looked down and his fingers twitched, which he quickly tried to hide from Farkas, but with no avail. He answered curtly "You just seem to spend a lot of time with her; I was just curious of your feelings about her."

Farkas nodded, and watched his brother with small confusion. Vilkas didn't usually act this way, and he knew it. Vilkas noted that Farkas was watching his hands which were balled in fists.

"To be honest, she's a good person Vilkas. And she's smart, and nice, and pretty."

Vilkas gave a short nod, his throat tightening at the remark of her physical appearance. That odd hot flash was boiling through his stomach again, and he couldn't bring himself to look at his twin.

Farkas asked quietly "Why are you so curious about her? I thought you didn't care about her."

Vilkas didn't look up and he replied sharply "I don't." He pushed himself from the seat and strided away from Farkas, leaving Farkas to wonder why his brother was not being open to him.

* * *

I sighed as I plopped down in a chair in my quarters. I sat down in the one Vilkas used to sit in, staring at the empty one. I sighed softly, running fingers through my hair. I felt very lonely, watching the space with a twinge of sadness and guilt.

A knock at my door brought my attention up to Vilkas, who'd invited himself in. He turned his back to me while shutting the door, and he paused there silently. I stood up, asking "Need something?"

He remained silent before turning to face me, his eyes slightly sharp. "What feelings do you hold to my brother?"

I blinked in surprise, caught unaware by such a random question. I thought to myself about it. Farkas was my first friend since joining the Companions, and he was my shield-brother, and now, he was my brother-in-law.

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'feelings'?"

Vilkas's steel eyes got sharper, and I was sure that if it was possible, they could cut me open like sharpened silver daggers.

Vilkas took a step closer to me, to which I stood my ground by the wall. His voice was demanding as he said "What do you feel towards him? Companionship? A brotherly affection? What?!"

I raised my other eyebrow, saying more than asking "You think I'm going with him, don't you."

Vilkas just remained silent, moving another step closer, and he was closing the distance quickly.

I sighed and replied "Your brother is my friend, and that's all he's been. Strictly platonic relationship. Besides, would it really matter how I felt about your brother?"

Vilkas took another step, closing the distance, and I could swear if he moved an inch closer he'd step on toes. I looked up at him with my arms crossed.

"It _would _matter, Kaera. We're the ones married, not you and him, and I need to know if feel any sort of desire to my brother."

My eyebrows creased in confusion, slightly confused by Vilkas's tone of voice. He was quiet, yet the words chosen made it sound like he was angry at me. I stared into his icy blue eyes, which were staring at me, waiting for me to react in some way. I noted he was very handsome up close, and I opened my mouth to respond when something clicked.

"...You're jealous that I spend more time with your brother than you."

He blinked, and seemed to have taken a step back, but he was still quite close. He didn't reply, and I sighed lightly, saying "I didn't think it would bug you for me to around other men, since this..._marriage_ is lacking any real compassion towards one another, so I didn't suspect you-"

I suddenly stopped in the middle of the sentence, intrigued by the look on Vilkas's face. It was very blank and oddly strange, his icy eyes distant and almost glazed over, but he was staring at me.

I found myself very curious and slightly uncomfortable. His face suddenly returned to normal, like nothing had happened. His returned to the icy look he'd given me earlier. He said quietly "But you _are _my wife, whether we like it or not, and I'd just like to have as normal as a marriage as I can in this predicament."

I nodded, saying "I know, but that doesn't mean you need to get suspicious that I'm sneaking around just because I'm not smitten with you."

Vilkas stared down at me, his eyes sharp. I stared back, confused at his expressions. He added "Then please don't act suspicious and maybe I wouldn't accuse you."

I blanked for a moment before feeling anger well up quickly. I replied in irritation "What do you mean, 'act suspicious'? I was just talking to your brother, who had been my first friend since I'd joined, and just because you're worried he's going to steal me away from you doesn't mean-"

I choked on my words when I found myself pinned against the wall, Vilkas holding me tightly between him and the cold wall. I sucked in air in surprise, not sure how to react. I was about to ask what in Shor's bones he was doing when I felt lips crash down on mine, stunning me into complete silence. I stared wide-eyed at him, unable to react for what seemed like hours, the feeling of his armor pressed against mine, his lips pressed against mine.

And for some reason, I didn't want to leave those feelings, the warmth it was giving me.

I closed my eyes, feeling his arm wrap around my waist and pull me closer against him, and I felt his tongue trace my bottom lip slowly, gaining a soft moan of pleasure from me. This egged him on, and he ran his gloved fingers through my long hair, cradling the back of my head as his tongue asked for entrance. I allowed his tongue in, and I explored his mouth, hearing him moan deeply. I wrapped my arms around his neck, breaking the kiss for air, panting heavily. He opened his eyes, staring into mine as our noses brushed softly. His eyes were softer than ever, and I smiled lightly.

He suddenly whispered softly "Remember this when you're around Farkas. You are _my _wife."

He turned and strode away, leaving me standing in my room, alone and confused. I plopped down in my seat, looking down at my ring.

_Jealous, possessive... Passionate... Confusing..._

I found myself wondering what exactly was running through that damned man's mind. He hated me in the beginning, unable to stand looking at me. Then he chased me across Skyrim because I'd been missing. And after that night with Sam... This. He goes and does _this._

I slammed my fist down in anger, confusion, and millions of other emotions that were swimming through me, leaving me wondering.

"Dammit, Vilkas, why?!" I cursed under my breath, my fist trembling lightly. I looked at it, clenching and unclenching it, testing my control. I could hear the creaking of the leather wrapped around my hands under my armor, and I sighed, clenching my fist again and closing my eyes tightly.

* * *

**Here we go!**

**Woo, I struggled with this chapter. A bit surprising, I wasn't actually planning on making Vilkas do something so compulsive as that, but I think that was a huge step in this story, and where it goes from here.**

**Make sure to review and tell me how I did, because I am having serious mixed feelings about this chapter.**

**Well, I'll be seeing you soon, yeah?**

**:D**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hi there everyone! I've been pretty excited for writing this. **

**I hope you enjoy this, and if you do, make sure to review!**

**I'd like to thank everyone whose read so far, and those who will read on!**

**R&R, enjoy!**

* * *

I tossed the letter on the table in front of me, sighing in an exhausted way. I'd been sitting here for the past three days sorting out letters and contracts. I ran my hands through my hair, holding my head up in them. I closed my eyes, a flashback from a few nights ago coming to mind, Vilkas pinning me against the wall and his body.

I shook my head, blinking rapidly. _Focus, Kaera, Focus._ I sighed, looking at another contract. It was to clear out a bandit camp in between Falkreath and Whiterun. I skimmed it lightly, trying to keep my mind away from Vilkas, though failing repeatedly.

A sharp knock at my door startled me, the thought of Vilkas entering playing in my head. I replied quickly "Yes?"

A short cough came from the door, and a voice asked awkwardly "May I come in?"

I released a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding, answering "Come in, Farkas."

The doors opened and the larger twin entered the room. I smiled and said "Do you need something?"

He shifted in an uncomfortable way, his eyes shooting from one place in the room to the next. He cleared his throat, saying "I came to check on you, Harbinger...It's just-well everyone is-"

I chuckled, interrupting "I'm fine Farkas."

He nodded quickly, rubbing the back of his head nervously. "Well, everyone wanted me to come down and ask... You know, everyone is worried you're working yourself too hard. Not to mention no one has seen you upstairs around everyone else in days..."

I nodded, gulping softly. _What other choice do I have? Face Vilkas? Hahaha, no._

"It's okay Farkas, I've just been busying myself with sorting out paperwork."

He nodded quietly, looking down at the stonework. "Everyone wanted me to convince you to come upstairs and visit for a while..."

I sighed and replied, looking down at my papers "Maybe later."

He sighed and I could hear him turn, getting ready to leave. I read the letter again and grinned a little, saying "Could you wait for a moment please?"

He stopped shuffling to the door, saying gruffly "Yeah?"

I looked up at him, asking "How would you like to tag along with me as my Shield-Brother and clear this bandit camp with me?" I could hear Vilkas's words from a few nights ago echo in my head.

_"You're __**my **__wife."_

I ignored the voice, waiting for Farkas to respond. He cleared his throat, saying almost hesitantly "Uh, sure. When do we leave?"

I smiled brightly and replied "Tomorrow sunrise. I'll meet you upstairs."

He nodded and walked out without another word, and when I was sure he was out of earshot, I sighed loudly.

_At least I can go get some fresh air away from Vilkas..._

I set the contract aside from the rest, looking at the huge pile of letters and requests with weary eyes.

"Ugh, why did _I _have to become Harbinger, Kodlak?" I asked him with exasperation and annoyance in my voice. He didn't answer, of course. I ran my hands through my hair, slowly starting to sort contracts again.

* * *

Vilkas sat cross-legged in the courtyard. Again. For the _third _time this week. He'd done little more than train and sit alone since that night a couple of days ago. He stared blankly at the ground, his mind somewhere far away.

The scenes continued to replay in his head, over and over. Staring down into her honey brown eyes. He remembered looking at her soft pink lips, wondering what they tasted like. So he allowed himself a taste. And gods, she tasted _wonderful. _Like honey and brandy.

Vilkas shooed the thoughts away, a warmth building in his stomach again. He sighed, closing his eyes and just focusing on the breeze, feeling his hair ruffle lightly from it.

A white flash going off in his mind, he was somewhere else, with strange smells. He looked around, everything strangely blurry and he felt oddly warm. He saw Kaera, smiling softly at him. She signalled for him to follow her, and he just grinned stupidly, walking after her as she moved away in the opposite direction.

His eyes shot open, brought back harshly to reality. He inhaled deeply, the warmth that had been in his stomach was now in his groin. He groaned in frustration, rubbing his eyes. He thought of the memory, realizing it must have been during their trip with the Daedric Prince of Debauchery.

He sighed, his fingers twitching again. He looked up at the doors, wondering how long Kaera planned to hide in her quarters. Not that he really cared much. He wasn't so sure if he wanted to face her yet.

_Not when I feel like...This._

His groins throbbed lightly, and he frowned and muttered "Damn woman."

* * *

**I know this was extremely short, but if I continued, this chapter was going to run on forever with the bandit camp and stuff.**

**Sorry, but I want to really make the next chapter longer, so this one had to be cut really, really short. **

**I felt sort of awkward writing the part with Vilkas, but all in all I think it came out good. Make sure to mention your thoughts on that one. :P**

**Remember to review, and I'll see you next time!**


	19. Chapter 19

**I am not going to apologize for my absence, but I will say that a series of unfortunate events has delayed this immensely. Writer's block due to stress with my family I'd not like to think about, and plenty of other things.**

**If not for my friend, I would have gone insane. Which may or may not be a good thing.**

**Anyways, I can't wait for this to all blow over.**

**Read and enjoy!**

* * *

I slipped from bed early and dressed in my steel plate armor. I was glad it wasn't as loud as my Wolf armor, but heavier than my Nightingale armor. I strapped it up silently, my eyes closed as my fingers easily buckled it in place. It was calming to do something with such ease that I didn't need to think about it. I spent enough time already thinking during the early hours of the morning, since sleep did not come easily.

I moved my fingers up to run them through my hair before pausing, a certain brooding wolf coming to mind. It was not surprising, since I knew that Vilkas did run his hands through his hair when stressed or in deep thought.

I dropped my hand to my side and turned, picking up my sword and my bow. I set them into place quickly, sighing. I moved along to the door, slipping silently around with ease. I couldn't help but think back to the time when the silent movements didn't come so naturally. I'd been so terrified to be found, I'd always been overly cautious to be silent.

_Funny how it just suddenly becomes a habit to be silent._

I opened the doors as quietly as I could, wincing at the squeak the hinges gave off. I almost instantaneously looked towards the hallway to my left. The thrill I got looking down at the hall, waiting.

Vilkas was a warrior. Ever vigilant, even in sleep. With such awareness, it was always hard to sneak past someone like him. But with his restless sleeping style, and heightened senses, it was a miracle I ever managed to get anywhere without him knowing.

After I was sure I had not gained his attention, I slowly started making my way past his room. I could feel my senses in overdrive, my pulse booming in my ears.

I let a soft sigh slip, the feeling of relief immediate when I made my way to the stairs, walking up quietly. I was less concerned, knowing that I'd faced my biggest issue. I looked around the silent mead hall, the peace both comforting and strange. I loved silence like this, but to hear it in the mead hall was always very odd.

I drifted back to the thought of Vilkas, and back before I'd become Harbinger. I'd walked in one night late after returning from a trip to Solitude, and there he'd been. Sitting at a table in the corner of a room, his eyes not even looking at anything but pointed to the flames. His face was so blank, I had no idea how to respond to it.

But curiosity had gotten the better of me, and I slowly approached him, red lights going off, which I stupidly ignored because my curiosity always won against me.

_Funny how different it was then._

He wasn't very different. He still acted like I was dirt. But the hate and intensity of it grew as I rose through the ranks. But _I'd_ been different. Or at least, how I acted to him. He made it clear he did not like me, but I still found myself very curious of him, to know about him. He wouldn't tell me of course, so I would go to Farkas. Then it just kinda changed.

"Kaera, are you listening?"

I jumped out of my skin, berating myself mentally for allowing myself to be caught unaware. I looked over at Farkas, who grinned. I rolled my eyes and hushed him, replying "I was thinking. Are you ready?"

He nodded, and I smiled. "Let's not waste time, then." I answered, walking along. I could hear his footsteps close behind as we headed out. But as soon as we left Jorrvaskr, the reality that a certain dark-haired man was going to strangle me when I returned hit me hard. But I just ignored the thought.

_He can grow up and stop worrying._

* * *

Vilkas already knew as soon as he walked by her room that she wasn't there. He sighed, running his hands through his hair. He didn't find this surprising. He knew she was going to leave the room sooner or later and head off for a while. But at least he was confident she would return. He made his way upstairs to see if he could find Farkas and spar, taking out some of the stress he'd been feeling.

Those few fleeting seconds when he thought of nothing else but the instinct to claim her as his. And when they broke for breath, he realized how strange it was for him to act like that. And he could not do anything but cover for it and retreat quickly. He had not planned to react like that to her, at all.

And yet, there he'd been, pinning her with his body.

He sighed, shaking the thoughts of it away, finding Aela before Farkas. "Aela, have you seen my brother?"

Aela blinked and said "He went off to clear a bandit camp."

Vilkas frowned, asking "Alone?" He couldn't hide the anger in his voice. Farkas knew better than to run off without-

"He didn't tell you."

Vilkas snapped back to the present, asking "Tell me what?"

Aela paused, and for a moment he wondered if she wouldn't tell him. Then she closed her eyes for a few moments before opening them to answer "He was going as Shield-Brother to Kaera."

Vilkas froze for a moment, his brain processing. The first feeling he'd gotten was disbelief and that she was joking. The next one was jealousy for Kaera taking Farkas. And the last one was rage.

She'd taken his _brother._ Not _him._ He was her husband, even if it had been accidental. He and her were bound by marriage, and she chooses his brother to take with her to protect her?!

He was suddenly very ill feeling, a feeling of pain. Hurt.

He blinked and pretending it was just because he was angry. He asked hastily "Where is the camp?"

Aela said "Just west of us."

* * *

I sighed in exhaustion as I wiped my sword clean before sheathing it, sitting down quickly. I looked over to Farkas, who was only a little less winded than I. I wanted to sleep. I felt so tired. My eyes kept fluttering. Farkas started shouting, but it was strangely quiet. I blinked in confusion.

_What is he saying?_

He seemed to speaking in another language almost. I closed my eyes when someone raised something to my lips. And then there was this bitter taste. I swallowed slowly, slowly gaining energy back.

I managed to finally take control of my eyes and looked at Farkas, who looked slightly worried. "Are you okay?"

I blinked, nodding. "I was just tired."

He stared for a few seconds quietly before saying "Why?"

I shrugged and replied slowly, still slightly tired "I'd been using too much magicka at once. It started draining my stamina."

He blinked and seemed to think it over before nodding. He offered a hand, which I pulled myself up with. I still felt terribly tired. But not tired enough to not hear the voice cutting through air like an arrow.

"_You._"

I almost winced as if being struck. I looked quickly towards the voice, seeing a _very _familiar form making his way quickly towards me. I sighed, mostly because I was too tired to do anything else.

He immediately looked at Farkas and back at me, and I waited for him to shout in anger. But he walked towards me, standing inches from me before his arms snaked out at me quickly, wrapping around me.

_Oh Gods he's strangling me!_

But then it occurred that he was doing the exact opposite. I blinked in confusion. He's... holding me?!

Farkas visibly stiffened and Vilkas pulled away, saying "I think it's time I told you something."

Farkas stared in confusion at his brother, who was suddenly acting like he'd gone mad. Farkas waited silently for Vilkas to continue.

"Vilkas-" I started when Vilkas shot me a glance that sent shivers down my spine. He turned back to his brother and said "Kaera and I had secretly wed, and decided to wait on telling you."

Farkas blinked, silent. And he blinked a few more times. I felt so embarrassed I wanted to run away for a year again. But what he did next was what I found surprising.

Farkas broke out in the widest grin I'd ever seen. He started laughing, saying "I always knew it!"

Vilkas looked just as confused as I felt. We exchanged a glance. But then Vilkas remembered that I'd snuck away with his brother.

"We will _talk _later." The low, rough tone of his voice sent chills through me. I looked away from him when Farkas caught my attention when he said "Why didn't you tell me earlier? I kinda thought it, but never said so because I know you would deny it."

Vilkas visibly tensed, and seemed wordless. He replied "Well, that wasn't- I didn't really think about..."

Farkas just laughed more and said "You should have told me so I could tease you about it!"

I giggled, and Vilkas shot me a look that made me want to laugh harder. I stifled my laugh though.

Vilkas grumbled and muttered "Let's just head back to tell everyone..."

Farkas continued teasing Vilkas the rest the way, me following the two closely behind. I watched them, Farkas laughing heartily and Vilkas grumbling with this annoyed look. I couldn't help but shake my head. Twins yet absolute opposites.

I felt a strange pang of emotion in my chest that made me stop. I blinked and looked at the two as they turned and looked at me. I glanced at Farkas, whose face was confused and soft blue eyes watched me.

I turned and looked at Vilkas, whose face was waiting for me to do something, his sharp icy eyes watching me raptly.

And I found myself again thinking how different yet the same they were. But the thing that kept haunting my mind was the fact that I kept comparing Vilkas to _him._ Such polar opposites, yet both had that _stare_. The one that set my insides alight, whether with love or hate.

I felt the hurt as the images of him flipped inside my mind, but it was those icy eyes that dragged me back to reality. And I wanted nothing more than to feel them leave me right now.

"Are you okay?" Farkas asked.

I nodded, saying "I just got lost in thought."

He nodded, smiling. Vilkas just watched me with silent eyes. I looked away and continued walking, talking to Farkas who told me jokes that I laughed at, even if I've heard them before. Yet I couldn't ignore the icy eyes that burned so bright it threatened to engulf me.

_"We will talk later."_

I wasn't so sure how I felt about this _'talk'_ we were going to have.

* * *

**And that was whatever chapter this was!:P**

**You have no idea how forced this came out for me at the beginning. But I finally started getting back in my grove, and then it came naturally again.**

**Leave a review, or even PM me your thoughts!**

**See you in chapter the one after this one!**

**:P**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hello again!**

**Yay for the update! :D**

**So, are you ready? I'm not. Haha, hope you enjoy.**

**There is a moment where things get a little heated, but it's nothing graphic.**

**Don't forget to read and review!**

* * *

"What did you and my brother do?!"

He was at the boiling point in rage. He warned her, told her he didn't want her too close to his brother, and what did she do?! She ran off with him,_ where they were alone,_ and didn't tell him!

He stared into her amber eyes, that were flashing in anger. "We cleared a bandit camp, and last I checked, _that _is not unheard of with shield-siblings!" She was obviously angry too, but he couldn't believe her nerve to go behind his back.

_With my brother, no less._

A gutteral growl ripped from his throat as he spit out "It isn't, but going behind my back, not telling your own _husband _where you were going and who you were going with?! That _should _be unheard of, but oh, I forgot you are the Dragonborn, and you do whatever you damn well please!"

She snarled back "How was I going behind your back?! Shouldn't you just trust that your _wife _and _brother _weren't going together?! You can't even trust your wife, or your brother!"

He took one step closer to her, watching her step back into the table. They were in the Harbinger's quarters, thank Talos. He'd hate for this to be public arguments.

"It's not that I don't trust my brother," He paused, growling. "I don't trust you. How can I know you'll be faithful to me, when you clearly don't care about me enough to inform me where you're going and who you go with!"

She clenched her hands into fists, trembling. She looked him square in the eye, and for a moment, he thought he'd seen hurt written in them, but as soon as it was there, it was replaced by anger.

"Oh yeah?! How can _I _know you'll be faithful to me in return?! All you've done for me so far is give me shit about anything and everything I do! You don't seem to care about me much either!"

She was still shaking in rage, eyes cast downwards. He clenched his jaw tight, not responding for a moment. Finally he said "Do you really think I don't care what you do?"

She blinked, looking up at him. She scowled, saying "Well, you haven't proven much to say you care."

He scowled back, replying with ice "Do you think I would make such a big deal about you and my brother if I wasn't concerned about you cheating? It's not easy to pretend you're happily married when you aren't. Even if I don't like you in the least bit, don't you think it'd still bug me to know my wife is out with other men besides me?"

Her brown eyes were locked onto his, and he saw her anger waver slightly. But she still responded coldly "It's not like this is a real marriage, it wasn't even-"

His hands latched onto her shoulders, shaking them while shouting "It is a real marriage, even if it wasn't in our intentions. You and I are married, dammit! Act like it!"

She blinked rapidly, her barrier falling slightly. Her face softened lightly. She stared at him, not sure what to say. Her mouth stayed silent.

He continued shouting "Why can't you just _act _like this was real, even when it isn't?!"

She still didn't say anything to him, just watched him with her amber gold eyes. His blue eyes just grew icier as he spoke "You won't even answer me!"

She looked away, stepping back again, his hands slipping from her shoulders. He looked away, silently berating himself for saying such stupid things.

"I'm sorry."

He looked up to see her brown eyes staring at him. She was sincerely apologizing for his anger. He sighed, sitting down and rubbing his face with his hands, staring down at the stones.

He'd screwed up. Again. He went and blew up about not being able to trust her when she couldn't really trust him either. And he'd forgotten that the only way a relationship ever works is if you can trust that person to not betray you.

He shook his head, trying to collect his thoughts. He heard her sit in the chair around the table from him.

"You know, at one point in time I'd said that someday I'd find a woman, marry her, have a family... I wanted to actually have a family of my own." He spoke out randomly, not even sure where it came from.

He glanced up at her, and she just watched him again, her wall of emotions up again. He sighed, continuing "I guess it's that old hope that I'd get that one day that really screws this up. This wasn't ever part of the plan. And even so, I keep pretending you're that woman, and you aren't. So when you go and do things like this, I get so angry, because it's so different than I expected."

He sighed again, shaking his head. He was so stupid sometimes. He keeps acting like this is a normal marriage, trying to convince himself it is so much that he's ruining it.

"Marriage is never what you expect it to be. It's full of hardships and choices that you might not want to make. But that's life, isn't it?"

He looked at her, staring at her brown eyes that seemed miles away from here. She continued "You can't expect everything to work out the way you planned it. You just have to take the days one by one, and sooner or later, something good happens."

She closed her eyes and sighed softly, saying "I don't blame you for being angry. In truth, you were acting more like a married man than I was a married woman."

Her eyes flickered open, and she gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry I really fucked up your plans of having a family."

He blinked, staring at this woman. She would just go off on him, shouting and screaming or not even speaking to him, and then just like that, she became something completely different.

Emotionless, harsh, and cold. Then, she was soft, vulnerable, and smiled in the sincere way.

_Dammit..._

He looked away, saying "It doesn't matter. I should go."

He stood up, starting to walk towards the door when her voice said in that harsh way "I actually apologize sincerely to you and all you can say is 'It doesn't matter'?!"

He stopped and turned in surprise, watching her stomp her way towards him. "And then you just leave, like that?! You run away from the fact that maybe I'm not the bitch you make me out to be?!"

He blinked, opening his mouth to say something when she interjected again "I apologize for anything I did to wrong you, but all you can do is say 'It doesn't matter'?! It matters to me! I feel guilty for tearing you from your dream of actually having a real marriage and real family and you just play it off like it doesn't matter?!"

He frowned and replied "It's not like you can do anything to fix the fact that I'm in this marriage and I won't ever get to have a family."

She was trembling again, and she looked down at the ground, shaking her head. "You're an asshole."

He reached out and grabbed her shoulder, saying "I'm sorry, but there isn't any reason to beat yourself up over it. I've accepted that I won't have a real, loving and happy marriage."

She bit her lip and looked up at him, and for a moment he thought he saw tears, but before he could register it, arms snaked up around his neck and hugged him tightly.

He stood in shock for a few seconds before slowly wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her tightly against him. She sighed and muttered quietly "Can't you just act like my apologies mean something?"

He responded quietly "You don't need to apologize for this. It wasn't your fault. Even though it wasn't an ideal marriage, I'm happy with it."

A white light flashed in front of him, and suddenly, he was in a room, in an inn of some sort. The smell of flowers lie next him as he held her body flush to his while they slept.

He blinked, and he was back in the Harbinger's room. She finally started pulling away, looking up at him with her amber eyes. She smiled softly and replied "Truly? You're happy with _this _sad excuse of a relationship?"

He nodded, his eyes taking in her face. It was soft, but she still had the eyes of a warrior. She was very attractive, possibly one of the few attractive women in Whiterun.

_And she is my wife._

He felt a small smile creep onto his features. His wife was the Dragonborn, and one of the most important people of Skyrim. She was his wife, and no other man would ever be able to say that.

He finally said "You said yourself that marriage is never what you expect it to be."

She smiled at him, a true genuine smile. He smiled back and replied "It's late. Goodnight, Kaera."

It felt so strange to use her name instead of title. He liked the way it sounded in his ears. He turned and started towards the door when arms snaked around his shoulders, saying quietly "Married couples sleep in the same bed, Vilkas."

He blinked in surprise, freezing up. He looked back at her, watching her walk towards the bedroom silently. She glanced at him and smiled again, stepping into the bedroom.

He followed quietly, not exactly sure what was happening. She'd walked towards her closet, slowly removing all her armor. It slowly fell away, leaving her in her small-clothes.

He did the same, still very unsure of what was going on here, or how to respond to it.

He finished taking all his armor off when she slipped up next to him, her shoulders on his back.

She traced lines across it, and he realized she was tracing scars. He flinched as she traced the long one that stretched diagonally down his back.

"Ugly, isn't it?" He spoke flatly, not surprised to see her interest in it. He waited for her to ask him where he'd gotten it, like everyone else before her had.

But for a long while, she did not speak. She just felt it, her palms running with a feather touch over it.

"I don't think so. Honestly, I like scars on men. It means they have lived through some of the worst odds, and came out on top. And you can tell who is a true warrior by looking at the scars they have collected over the years."

He looked over his shoulder at her, and she was still staring at his scars, admiring them almost.

She glanced up at him, her brown eyes watching his steely ones with this strange look. He turned around, looking down at her. He gave her a real look this time. She was actually quite feminine when he looked at her like this.

She had soft, rolling curves that weren't overly huge or small. Her skin was a soft tan color, and looked smooth enough to drink. Then his eyes latched onto it. A large gash ran from her bottom left rib to what he'd guessed to be the bottom of her right shoulder. It was jagged and rough looking, yet he couldn't help but be fascinated with it, admiring it.

He looked back up to her, eyes locking. Amber met blue, and they stood still for a moment. She closed her eyes and leaned forward, her soft lips brushing against his. Their noses touched barely as she reached her arms up around his neck again. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her hips, holding her against him. He kissed her back, and he could feel her tongue probing at his mouth for entrance. He granted it, in turn letting his tongue roam hers slowly. She moaned softly into his mouth, sending chills down his spine as he hardened. He slowly walked towards the bed, falling onto it with their bodies still entwined. He flipped her onto her back, breaking the kiss to slowly plant kisses on her jaw and neck, sucking softly on the skin. She moaned again, her hands running down his chest and abs slowly.

He planted wet kisses on her collarbone, looking up at her as she said softly "Vilkas..." He moved back up towards her, kissing her softly again. He realized that for the first time in a long time, he wasn't bedding this woman.

He was making love to this woman. He paused, pulling away to look at her again. This woman, underneath him, had dragged him back to the time before women were ways to relieve himself.

This woman right here, had somehow made him do things he said he wouldn't do until he'd found the right woman.

And that knowledge terrified him.

She spoke quietly "Vilkas... Vilkas I think we should wait on this... " She was breathless, and though she was refusing, her body wasn't. He stared down at her honey colored eyes, and froze up.

He nodded, lowering himself onto the bed next to her. He looked at her for a long time, not sure what to say or think. She said almost shyly "Vilkas?"

He nodded, still unable to use his tongue.

"I'm sorry I can't give you the pleasure a woman should give you."

And as he stared into those brown eyes that showed true guilt and sorrow, his chest constricted. He just shook his head and pulled her in close to him, covering their bodies with the blanket under them.

"I'm sorry, Kaera."

She didn't respond, and he realized that she'd fallen asleep. He sighed and rested his head in the nook between her shoulder and head.

_Not even the Gods were going to get him out of this..._

* * *

**A Vilkas chapter and some romance development.**

**Finally, am I right? :P**

**Please review and leave your thoughts!**

**Bye!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Not sure how to introduce you to this chapter, soo...**

**Just R&R please. **

**Well, I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed so far, good or bad, they all contributed to 100 reviews, so thank you.**

**Anyways, chapter 21!**

* * *

I saw... Faces.

Some I recognized, some were just strangers flitting around me. I glanced around, trying to decipher where I was, but the scenes were always changing. I was on some plains somewhere, watching a giant and a goat walk away, waving to them.

The next moment, I was in Markarth, throwing my clothing to the floor quickly while robed people stared in utter horror. I was shouting incoherent words to them, and they seemed too much in shock to do anything.

The background faded out and then I was stumbling from the gates of Whiterun with a hooded man leading me away, laughing and chugging drinks down. They smelled strange to me, and slid down my throat like fire, burning all the way down.

I blinked, and now I was standing in a place unfamiliar with me. Torchbugs glowed, lighting the dark shadowy place. Luna moths fluttered around me, and I found myself breathless as I spun slowly. And I stopped.

In the shadows I saw a figure, slightly masked from the pale moonlight.

He stood there, seeming as taken with the land as I. It was like being in a dream, where time did not exist, and problems vanished. His dark hair was slightly messy, his shockingly blue eyes looking dazed as we locked gazes. And he smiled.

All too fast, the moment was gone, and I was somewhere else, where people were laughing and talking. A man called out something, but it didn't sound like words to me. I still turned to acknowledge him, and found myself staring at a priest, who stood by a statue of Mara. A man in armor stood next to him with his back to me, and for some reason I couldn't make sense of why he seemed familiar.

Suddenly I was being pulled through a crowded street, a hand holding mine softly but still firm to make sure I wasn't going to slip away. People slid by, not even looking up to realize I was there. I looked down at the hand, following it towards the body and just as I reached his jaw, everything faded away too fast once again.

Then I was in an inn of some sort, my hand raised to beckon someone towards me. I locked gazes with icy blue eyes, and a smirk.

* * *

I shot up in bed with a gasp, my mind flooded with images, moments, faces, voices, tastes, sounds, smells, all at once. I couldn't process any of them quick enough before another one was shoved upon me.

I clenched the sides of my head with my hands, shaking. It was too much to handle. My head was pounding, blood rushing so much I could hear it.

_Stop, stop! Make it stop! Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop!_

I closed my eyes tightly and opened them. There was a sudden calm. I was heaving, forcing air into my lungs. Besides the sounds of my quick, ragged breaths, it was silent. Nothing moved or made a sound.

I was in my quarters, sitting in bed alone. I looked around the room. Nothing had changed. I sighed and closed my eyes. But something in my mind caught my attention. Little memories, fleeting scenes of _something._

But a few stuck with me. The pale moonlight with the man in the shadows whose blue eyes were glowing; the priest of Mara speaking with a man whose back was to me.

But the one that kept replaying over and over in my head was the image of those icy blue eyes and the smirk.

I realized why these kept sticking in my head.

_It's Vilkas._

I blinked, trying to remember when these happened. I couldn't remember ever seeing Vilkas like that around me. This didn't make any sense, why can't I remember-

_That night!_

I sucked in air sharply, the puzzle pieces falling into place. Every single sight, sound, smell, taste; They were all part of some point in that night!

I quickly crawled from bed and hurried to my dresser, forgetting the edge of the table that sat at the foot of my bed. I jammed my toe hard, causing me to freeze up in pain and mutter curses under my breath very loudly-shouting them, really-and sit back down on the bed, rubbing my toe in pain.

_Dammit, every time..._

I sighed and stood back up, watching the table cautiously while making my way to my closet. I quickly grabbed out my steel plate armor, donning it swiftly and ignoring the throbbing of my toe as I shoved it into a boot and walked to the door.

I grabbed the handle when the door opened for me, almost knocking me over. I blinked and looked up at VIlkas, who seemed slightly surprised too.

"Morning."

He smirked and said "It's a little late for morning. Try afternoon."

I gaped in surprise and said quickly "Why didn't you wake me up before now?!"

The dark-haired man just shrugged calmly and answered "You were tired, so I let you sleep." He paused before an eyebrow raised and he asked "Why were you shouting like someone set you on fire?"

I berated myself mentally for being so loud and blushed in embarrassment. I replied sarcastically "Oh, you know, I was trying to shout the table to pieces without using an actual Shout."

His eyebrow never dropped as he chuckled, replying "Again?"

I frowned, saying "What do you mean, 'Again'?"

He just grinned, saying "You wake everyone up every other day when you shout curses at the table."

I blushed a little more red, muttering "Well, it deserves it."

He just chuckled again, saying "I'm sure it does."

I rolled my eyes and pushed past him, saying "I'm going to eat breakfast."

"Lunch, really." He corrected.

I shot him a look over the shoulder as I made my way up the stairs, snatching a honey nut treat off the counter and munching on it quietly as I made my way outside. I stepped out the door, seeing Ria's overly happy face and Njada's glaring one. I just rolled my eyes and took a seat next to Athis.

"So, sleeping beauty decides to wake up and eat like a normal human being?" He said teasingly.

I just punched him in the shoulder, saying "No, I didn't choose to wake up and eat. I forced myself awake so I could get back on schedule with my regular habit of shouting curses at my table after breaking my toe on it."

He just laughed, replying "It's nice to see that your new marriage hasn't ruined your sense of humor."

I blinked, saying "Marriage? Who told you I was married?" I'd forgotten to tell them yesterday like Vilkas said we were going to. We immediately went downstairs for our talk.

"Farkas couldn't stop talking about it last night. You should have seen Njada's face."

I shuddered, looking up to see the silver-haired woman practically frothing at the mouth. I looked back at Athis, sighing "Great, add her as a problem to my list."

He just grinned and replied "What number problem are you at? 100 or 200?"

I replied flatly "448."

He laughed loudly. I cracked a smile and continued eating. A cheery voice caught my attention.

"Harbinger!"

I looked up at Ria, who was beaming brightly. "Yes, Ria?" I said calmly, watching the woman practically bounce up and down.

"Is it true about you and Vilkas?!"

I asked with an eyebrow quirked "What about me and Vilkas?"

She blushed and replied "Well, are you two... You know..."

"Having sex?" I replied bluntly, to which she jumped and blushed awkwardly.

I laughed and shook my head, saying "I was joking. Yes, we are married."

She smiled, still blushing a deep red. I could hear Njada scoff. "I don't know what that man sees in you..."

I just grinned at her annoyed expression, looking back at Ria. She hadn't grown in skill much since I'd known her. I said loudly, changing subjects "Have you been practicing with a sword?"

She nodded, beaming again. I stood up, saying quickly "Spar with me then."

She blinked in shock and stuttered "Harbinger, I-I'm definitely n-n-not good enough t-to put up a f-fight..."

I shook my head, waving my hand dismissively. "Nonsense. Let's spar."

She followed me nervously as we walked out to the training yard. I grabbed two short swords off the rack, tossing her one. She caught it awkwardly, adjusting her grip so it was in her hand properly.

I stood across from her, a few feet away. I stood defensively and called "Come at me."

She nodded and stepped forward, swinging at me. I quickly blocked her advances, noting all the mistakes she made. Finally she went and swung down hard at me, which I side-stepped, causing her to fall to the ground.

I pressed the tip of the sword in-between her shoulder blades softly, stating "You hold the sword nice, yet your stances are very amateur and do not bring balance. This caused you to fall when you missed me."

I pulled the sword away and watched her flip over to face me, looking slightly humiliated. "Sorry, Harbinger."

I sighed and said "Don't apologize. Get up and fix it. I know you could be very good with a sword if you put yourself to it."

She blinked and asked incredulously "You mean it?"

I nodded, replying "If you stop wasting time sitting asking questions and start fixing your mistakes, that is."

She quickly scrambled to her feet, picking up the sword. I quickly started lecturing her and fixing her stance, showing her how it should look and how she was doing it. After a good twenty minutes, it started looking much better.

Ria was breathing heavily by the end of it. "Thank you, Harbinger." She managed to get out, putting the sword back on the rack. She continued "I'm glad you spent your time helping me get better."

I nodded and smiled, saying "You're welcome."

I put my sword up too and wiped the sweat off my face. I'd broken a soft sweat, but I was anything but tired. I was about to turn around when a voice called out "I'd like to practice with you, _Harbinger._"

* * *

I didn't have to look over my shoulder to know that Njada was staring at me, her voice laced with venom. I turned and smiled anyways, saying "Sure."

She scowled at made her way over, grabbing a shortsword off with a shield. I picked up two shortswords, deciding to dual wield.

She smirked maliciously at me as we faced off, saying "You don't stand a chance."

I just smiled at her, not responding. It seemed to tick her off, because she came ruthlessly at me like a sabre cat, vicious and fast.

I quickly dodged the attacks, dancing around her lightly. But she didn't cease her rampage, and managed to get a good slice in, hitting my arm hard. Luckily the swords were relatively dull, so it didn't cut me bad. I saw an opening, and swung hard, turning my blade so she was hit with the flat of it. It knocked the air from her lungs, which surprised her and gave me enough time to kick my leg out, sweeping her legs out from under her and sending her to the ground.

I pointed the swords at her, replying "You aren't focusing on attacking and letting your anger fight for you."

She growled and replied with obvious anger from humiliation "Don't lecture me."

I nodded, and she tossed the things to the ground, saying "How about we fight this _my _way. Fists."

I nodded again, staying very neutral about it. I put my weapons on the rack and walked back over to her, raising my fists. She immediately came swinging fast at me, catching me off-guard slightly. Her fist connected with my cheek hard, and I knew it was going to bruise.

I brought my hands up to block her, jumping away from her. She kept swinging, and I kept dodging and blocking, trying to find openings.

Her hits came hard, and I knew exactly why she was called _Stonearm._ But I finally saw the opening, and I landed a few jabs to her side, with distracted her enough so I could land a blow.

I hit her square in the mouth, to which she jumped back from. She spit some blood out, saying "That all you got?"

I didn't respond as I leaped forward, faking a swing at her side. She went to block and I swept at her legs, causing them to buckle, but she didn't go down.

"Think I'd fall like that again?" She said angrily.

She swung at me again, to which I jumped left and danced behind her, saying "No. But this will make you."

She didn't have time to react as reached my left arm across to her right shoulder, latching on and pulling it to the left as my right leg swept from left to right, sending her to her back.

I sighed and said "Again, you are letting-"

I wasn't exactly sure what had happened in those few seconds, but I suddenly saw Njada on top of me, pinning me down as she started swinging at me. I brought my hands up to dodge, but I couldn't do much more than block while she swung at me. Her full force weight was holding me down, and I couldn't throw a punch at her without getting hit in the face.

Shouting around us was happening, but I ignored it. Njada said with a snarl "What, you can't even try to fight back, _Harbinger?_ You little bitch. I don't know why they even let a whore like you in anyways!"

I snarled, unable to hold back my anger at her. She'd pushed me too far this time. I growled menacingly, and I shouted "Fus, Ro!"

She went tumbling backwards off of me, to which I immediately climbed on top of her, swinging at her in blind, primal rage. Each swing was connecting hard with her, and I snarled out "Fight back, Whelp!"

She could only try to block my punches, which even with her skill in block, did her almost nothing.

I could feel people trying to yank me off, pull me away from Njada, whose face was bloodied and probably suffered a broken nose. Finally, large arms yanked me off of her, dragging me away, even though I was still swinging blindly.

"Kaera, stop!" Farkas', who was holding me back, voice shouted, but I wasn't listening. Vilkas stepped in front of me, catching my wrists and saying "Kaera, listen, listen to me. Stop this, calm down."

I continued struggling for a moment before I finally stopped, staring into the icy blue eyes of the dark-haired man. He sighed, saying "You lost your temper."

I nodded, looking around him to see Njada sitting up with everyone crowded around her, talking to her and offering her help that she refused stubbornly.

Aela turned and walked over, saying to me "You gave her quite the beating."

I sighed and said "I got angry..."

The huntress just nodded, not saying anything else. Farkas's arms slowly released me, as if worried I'll go and finish her off. I had been tempted to, but decided it was a waste of time. If she was smart, she would know her place now. I didn't expect her to like me, but at least respect my authority.

Vilkas stared at me with sharp eyes, his gaze locked onto my face. He stepped forward and touched my cheek, which I winced sharply to the tender pain that shot through it. He said "She got a few good hits in."

Nodding, I replied like I was just stating a fact "I got a few more in than she though."

Vilkas looked over at the silver-haired woman, nodding. He looked back at me, asking "Are you okay?"

I laughed and said "Don't be concerned. I'm fine. It's Njada we should be asking that."

He shrugged and answered "I'm not talking physically. Physically she took a beating, but the worst you did mentally was take her down a few notches. You, on the other hand, just lost absolute control. Which I've not seen you do. Ever. Not even on an enemy."

I looked away, saying quietly "I'll be fine. We should go check to see how bad I broke her face."

He chuckled and I smiled a little as we walked over to her, where she was cleaning her face up and drinking healing potions. Her nose was bent in a very awkward angle, which I knew was going to heal wrong and leave it in a slightly ugly position.

She glanced up at me and her lips curled into a look of disgust. "What?" She snapped at me, and I could tell I'd obviously humiliated her pride.

I answered "Good spar."

She just made a sound and looked away, not willing to speak to me. I just walked away and sat down, grabbing some food and munching down on it, touching my bruise.

_That is gonna hurt tomorrow._

* * *

**And that was chapter 21!**

**A little less about Vilkas and Kaera's current relationship, but still.**

**I wanted to do a fight scene with Njada. Jealous whore. :D**

**Anyways, leave a review and/or PM me questions, and favorite and follow if you like my story that much.**

**See you in the next chapter!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey everyone! I took a small break in writing this to write my sequel to my Bully story. :)**

**Helped clear my mind a lot. Glad I did it for a while.**

**But, I want to take a nice, lengthy break again. When you write a story like this for so long, it starts getting very tiring and after a while boring. I'm not a marathon runner in writing. But, I want to make sure this story finds an ending. So I'm updating this, and when I'm a little more inspired, I'll get back to this. I guess you could say it's on hiatus.**

**Sorry in advance for such a short short chapter.**

**Anyways, here we go.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

I prodded my cheek bruise, which hurt even more today than the day before. I winced in pain, but continued to poke it in thought. I heard a sigh come from behind me. I finished reading the last of the letter and I frowned.

I turned to Vilkas, who was standing in the doorway, leaning casually. I sighed, saying "I have to go deal with something in Riften..."

"The Thieves' Guild." He said with an edge in his voice, and I could feel his distrust and anger. I nodded, replying "It shouldn't take long. You can take care-"

He cut in abruptly "No way am I letting you travel alone again."

I smiled softly, saying "Vilkas, I can handle myself, and I'll be back in a couple of days."

His frown deepened, and he added "That's not what my concern is. Last time-"

I sighed, nodding. "Yes, I ran off for a while."

"Almost a full year."

I frowned, saying "Way to guilt-trip."

He didn't smirk, but continued to stare at me seriously. "But, I want someone to go along with you to make sure you're okay."

Rolling my eyes, I said sarcastically "Let me guess. _You _want to come along."

He shrugged, saying "What damage could it actually bring?"

"Collateral." I said flatly, earning a swat on the back of the head. "Be serious, Kaera. I want to make sure you'll be okay all along the trip."

I smiled brightly and said "I'll take Farkas!"

"NO." He growled. I grinned, saying teasingly "Aw, somebody jealous from last time?"

He smirked and nodded. "And keep pushing me. We'll see how long this argument lasts then."

I ignored the heating of my cheeks as I asked "Who's gonna take care of the Companions if you go with me?"

"Easy. I already asked Vignar if he would do it as soon as I saw the letter addressing you instead of the Companions in general, and he agreed."

I blinked, replying "You didn't even ask me?!"

He nodded. "You're an _advisor. _Not a leader."

I pouted slightly, muttering "But you always did whatever Kodlak asked."

He grinned, saying "That man was like my father. Not my Harbinger."

I nodded, looking at how happy Vilkas seemed when he spoke of Kodlak. It quickly dissipated, and he said "So when do we leave for Riften?"

_I have no argument in this._

Sighing, I answered "Tomorrow morning."

He nodded, his grin wider. "I'll make sure you get up."

I sighed. _Great._

* * *

The carriage hit another bump in the road. Praying for the patience to make in through this trip, I glanced over at Vilkas. The icy-eyed man said nothing, just stared of in the distance. I closed my eyes and sighed, boredom flooding me.

The sounds and smells of the woods were all around, each one caught by my heightened senses. I loved the smells, the freshness of it. I watched as a group of deer disappeared into the heavily wooded area. I could hear their hooves softly hitting the ground, fading slowly.

"What's on your mind?"

I sighed, replying "Nothing."

He chuckled, saying "So you're saying you don't ever think? I always had-"

I kicked his shin, banging his armor against the bone. He scowled and I laughed. "Alright, I was thinking about the woods."

He nodded, saying softly so the carriage driver wouldn't hear "You hear the animals too?"

I gave a short nod. "The smells, the sights. It's always there when I travel."

I glanced over at him, his blue eyes watching me raptly. "What about you?" I asked.

He sighed and answered "It's hard to focus on anything else."

We were silent as the road winded even more, taking us towards Riften. It wasn't uncomfortable silence. More of a companion silence, where you just shared the quiet before it was broken by something.

I liked this kind of silence.

* * *

When we arrived in Riften, the first thing I wanted to do was sleep. I hated carriage rides. So long and boring. I would have gotten here faster if it'd just been me and Shadowmere, but Vilkas didn't have a horse, so we decided it'd be best to ride in a carriage.

_Stupid carriages._

I hopped down out of it, Vilkas following after when a very distinct roar caught my attention. My fingers had found my bow before anyone else could register what was going on. I drew the bowstring back, pointing it towards the sky, listening for the sound of the wings.

A whoosh of air from the wings caught my attention, and I watched as a large mossy green dragon flew overhead. It looked down and I swear I saw it smile.

It flew back around, and the distinct words of "_Yol, Toor Shul_!" erupted from its jaws, fire raining down on us. Vilkas and I rolled out of the way quickly. I felt the words build inside of me before I opened my mouth, shouting "_Joor, Zah Frul!_" The blue light encased the dragon, sending him crashing downwards into the ground.

Vilkas was on him immediately. I called out while loosing an arrow, watching it bury itself in the dragon's wings "Watch the mouth and the tail!"

I notched another arrow, letting it fly into the dragon's eye. It screamed, and I felt a wave of cold hit me as ice flew from it.

I ignored the chill and shouted back "_Krii, Lun Aus!_"

The purple seeped into the dragon, and I watched as it's life force started fading faster, and I pulled out my sword and rushed forward, attacking the dragon's neck.

It screamed once more, and it collapsed, the dragon's life burning away. The voices spoke as the dragon died, his scales starting to burn away to his bones. They glowed as light started swirling upwards and dancing towards me, surrounding me and seeping through me, right into my soul. And I could feel the dragon within me now, his soul now resting in mine.

I sighed and sat down, exhausted. I looked up at Vilkas, whose face flashed many emotions as he breathed in, the thrill of fighting a dragon evident. He looked at me and said "I've never felt anything so exciting before!"

I gave him a smile, and said "You get used to it. The magic wears off once you've done it so many times."

I rubbed my face and stood up, saying "We got to go check into a room at The Bee and Barb."

He nodded, and we walked towards town, ignoring the priceless face of the stable worker and carriage driver.

* * *

**That's it for now. Sorry again for such short chapter, and my coming break.**

**Hope you can forgive me without throwing swords at me. *reaches for shield just in case***

**Haha, hope you enjoyed, leave a review with your thoughts, and see you later!**

**Bye!**


End file.
